Gone in Dust.

Dear Jessy,

If this relationship was credit I guess we're in depth.
cuz if ur pussy wasn't as good I would've been left.
and if you really wanna leave me 4 the next....chow
cuz all u do is bitch thats y I'm fucking with my x now.
belive me I tried to make this work I tried so much.
saying we coould make it damn I guess I lied too much.
after I fucked you yeh I really thought we would fit.
I am a lil stuck on u..only cuz u could suck a good dick.
can't lie we had good times ur the 1st girl I cried with.
but if I beated females you'd be the 1st bitch I'd hit.
feel like ur steppin all over me just call me a door mat.
N'' u want everything ur way but my ego's 2 big 4 that.
I could feel the tension between us theres aloutta hate.
cuz I wear the pants bitch N'' dats a fact u gotta take.
meaning I'm the bagel ur more like the swiss cheese.
I can't chill wit my niggaz and smoke...... bitch plz.
our realtionship crashing flicks. smacks and fits.
N'' if I want pussy you going take this massive dick.
fuck wat ur momma gave u thats my ass N'' titts.
we use 2 have bombing trust...no problems fuss.
things change including u thats why I'm gone in dust.

Happy Valintimes day Baby

1st
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...16#post5510816

2cd
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...37#post5510837


3rd
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post5510848

uppin.

hmm.. lol you dissed the hell outta whoever the girl was you seem to severly hate.
but yeah i felt as a whole this was a decent write, funny shit you posted.

If this relationship was credit I guess we're in depth.
cuz if ur pussy wasn't as good I would've been left.
and if you really wanna leave me 4 the next....chow
cuz all u do is bitch thats y I'm fucking with my x now.


Coo.

Word I agree, the topic did have me a bit interested in this piece. you came on strong like:

Quote:

---

If this relationship was credit I guess we're in depth.
cuz if ur pussy wasn't as good I would've been left.
and if you really wanna leave me 4 the next....chow
cuz all u do is bitch thats y I'm fucking with my x now.
belive me I tried to make this work I tried so much.
saying we coould make it damn I guess I lied too much.
after I fucked you yeh I really thought we would fit.
I am a lil stuck on u..only cuz u could suck a good dick

---

A few others that were interesting:

Quote:

---

I can't chill wit my niggaz and smoke...... bitch plz.
our realtionship crashing flicks. smacks and fits.
N'' if I want pussy you going take this massive dick.
fuck wat ur momma gave u thats my ass N'' titts.
we use 2 have bombing trust...no problems fuss.
things change including u thats why I'm gone in dust.

---

the punches in this piece were pretty creative and lmao at whoever this is towards if it's meant to offend a real person, although this seem'd more like a diss than a OM, it still had a decent story line and where you say

Quote:

---

I can't chill wit my niggaz and smoke...... bitch plz.

---

It'll help to use exclamation points, it'll add emotion to the character and show us in what context did you mean by that phrase a nice chorus would've deffinently elevated this piece fam, but all in all this was a Good piece, like I said in your other thread can you leave feed on one more of m piece's lol, please it's hard coming by people that give quality feed like this here nah mean....

thankz 4 the comments

uppin

leave feed fam....

Man, this was a dope drop, but damn sounds like this chick really had you all fucked up. But I could just imagine, bro, a chick trying to take full control of your life. But for a chick to tell you not to smoke weed anymore, like your suppose to deal with that shit. Shoot the bitch, and end it. lol.

this was a good peice man, as far as what you did with it. how you worded it. the topic was not my type of pickin. and the whole outline i didn't seem to catch with the topic....your wordplay was good, and your lines were ok..

rtf


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=326936

Please Return The Favor Leave Quality Feed On This Link.

uppin.

damn it sounds alot like my last relationship.. you dissed this chick to the core. and you had some pretty creative punches. u should call her cell phone or house phone and spit this shit on her answer machine. or you still with her? its really none of my business.. but im curious.. i seen lots of disses like this from other boards just worded different.. and i heard 7 out of 10 got back with the same chick. its cool to have a project whore suck your dick though. cuz thats all they good for. i enjoyed this piece, man.. had it flowing nice and smooth. i laughed my ass off the whole way through it. overall i give this a 10/10.. ima have to read this again before i goto sleep tonight.

thankz uppin.