I'm stuck dumfounded, and thinking deeply, with thoughts so mean
Since that asshole stole my girl.. nothing is how it used to seem
My soul isn't clean, no more as she was the only one which I deem
important and now shes gone.. as my mind continues to dream
August 2nd, 2006
It's my first day at my new school, I left behind my past
And i'm wondering how long, this new found happiness will last
So I enter my new class, I'm all alone, except for this chick
Who I instinctivly tried to mack, by acting cocky and slick
We became friends, she was beautiful, we'd be friends for life
It was that day too.. when we found out how much we were alike
So from a few weeks went by, we chatted on the phone and such
And then I decided to tell her.. that she was my biggest crush
But that's exactly how I felt, because thats when the first pain was delt
When she told me she liked being single, and that she liked being by herself
But the pain didn't stop there, my heart continued to bellow
while the hurt that was created then, never decided to mellow
Septemeber 15th, 2006
I'm in class, staring... up and down at what shes wearing
But I won't talk to her today, i'm not feeling very daring
And this grudge im baring, won't leave without a fight
I'm ready to split the kid's skull.. and tonight I just might
And in spite of our friendship.. she leaves my heart hurting
becuz with my best friend she's established a pattern of flirting
With intentions burning, and with my tissues beginning to scar
I continue to walk alone, and simply watching from a far
My mind jumps again, and with a stab in the chest
I remember the hardest moment, more painful than the rest
October 30th, 2006
It's late october, and the summer leaves begin to fall
And i've made little relationship progress.. in fact none at all.
Yet I remain persistant, because once again the chance I missed it
For that second alone with her, hell.. she even insisted
So I called her, and told her i'd be stopping by her place tonight
I arrived, opened the door, entered her room, and was frozen with fright
John held her tight, as intercourse took place, I could see her blushin
so as she held back a moan, I clenched my fists with adrenaline rushin
And I can't come to terms with what i've done to my miss
As I slowly broke her skull.. with each persistant blow of my fist
And throught slit, I watched the light from her eyes fade
But now atleast she wouldn't live to break my heart another day
And as for the two timing, double crossing back stabbing friend
For him, it wasn't as easy as it was for my whores life to end
But instead, I knocked him out.. tied him and to my car and drove
Miles after miles, gravel streets.. of course I took the back roads
To the spot that I chose, where my deed was to be done
Becuase if he was really meant to live, he'd just get up and run
But see, his flesh was eaten away, as it resembled my soul
So while he screamed for mercy, I screamed louder and dug the hole
And I only saw the fairness, in burying them together
So that they chould scheme and cheat... while they burned in hell forever
My mind arrives, and I awaken... now I walk a bridge slanted
With each step after step, being a chance i took for granted
So I asked God for guidance, and to help rid these images from my head
But instead, God didn't respond.. I guess I was better off dead
I reached the end, with a clearing head, and I pondered my decisions
I tried to convice myself at all costs, the visions were only visions
Was it my fault, was it theres? Who cares as I finally thought
For I am a troubled man who sought, an answer to this plot
So I prayed to God, cure me of this girl to which in love I fell
I leave God the option for me, will it be heaven or is it hell?
That's when I decide it's my time, I decide that I can fly
So I close my eyes and I jump... but my wings never arrived