Another night, another bottle

Another night, another bottle- Hears to ignorance

Drink the pain away a friend once spoke…
For the sorrow will surely divorce your memory.
As he devoured shards of his reflection,
I stand stunned at the drunken stance of the guitar.
I turn to enquire deeper to his theory,
Yet when I turned, his back was impaled against
A lifeless heap of green, & blue shaded glass

Kaleidoscope irises fall short of clarity,
Yet clarity falls sadly short of irises

Staggering butterfly ballet dancers in motion…
Or is that just a figure of speech, or imagination?
Spells of absence, taste drops of absinth.
Dirty grey sidewalks of delicious entrails leave
Their mark on my new trouser legs,
But I won’t notice for at least another sip.
Dust fills my pockets by dusk
Spare change I ask, but the bus has been and gone.
I take a step towards sober thought,
Yet before I catch my breath I’m back on the turntables.

What are you looking at officer?
Okay, take my hand in yours; it’s fine.
Yes shadow, you can come too darling.

Don’t mind me sir, I’m just a dittle lunk.

Goodnight

C'mon people...

My first piece back and no feed... pfft. not cool fellas.

yea well, now someone is leaving feed, not just someone, but Darryl- the love of your life. so shut the fuck up :love: lol

I really liked this dude, it was short and to the point. You actually wrote like a sdrunk person lol which would probably be hard to do unless you were drunk. but yea, this was abstract as shit. I was really feeling some of ths shit you had in here, like that bit irises/clarity, that was dope. This was very very good for a come back piece, and I'm going to be nominating this for hof because I really enjoyed it. I felt your imagery here it was seriously intense, I could see everything happening as I was reading it, and that (unlike a lot of shit I read) really made me get lost in the story and read on. The emotion was dope, and there was a bit of comedy in there too, from what I read, I don't know if you meant it, but there were parts that actually made me laugh, like the 'dittle lunk' part at the end, that was cleverly put into the piece, and those light-hearted parts added to my over all enjoyment of the piece. I think you could have went furthr with the story, and kept it going to make a longer piece, but none the less I was really feeling this. Dope shit dude, keep at it. props man.

keep dropping mate, it'd be good to see you back for good.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by The Witness.

yea well, now someone is leaving feed, not just someone, but Darryl- the love of your life. so shut the fuck up :love: lol

I really liked this dude, it was short and to the point. You actually wrote like a sdrunk person lol which would probably be hard to do unless you were drunk. but yea, this was abstract as shit. I was really feeling some of ths shit you had in here, like that bit irises/clarity, that was dope. This was very very good for a come back piece, and I'm going to be nominating this for hof because I really enjoyed it. I felt your imagery here it was seriously intense, I could see everything happening as I was reading it, and that (unlike a lot of shit I read) really made me get lost in the story and read on. The emotion was dope, and there was a bit of comedy in there too, from what I read, I don't know if you meant it, but there were parts that actually made me laugh, like the 'dittle lunk' part at the end, that was cleverly put into the piece, and those light-hearted parts added to my over all enjoyment of the piece. I think you could have went furthr with the story, and kept it going to make a longer piece, but none the less I was really feeling this. Dope shit dude, keep at it. props man.

keep dropping mate, it'd be good to see you back for good.

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Much apreciated as always dude... yes it was a much more light hearted piece then my usual 'dark' poetry... it's not dark poetry... it's more like comical/reality poetry... I'm sure everyone above the age of 13 can relate to the piece... unless you're like a nun or something, then i apologise to those individuals!

Man this was dope, nice smooth read and the title captured my attention and I wasn't disappointed by the content, your deep description of every object and personification helped me paint a picture in my mind of what you were trying to convey with your words, and the vocabulary were not your everyday words and what surprised me is that you used them in the right context and nothing felt out of place or not needed through out the poem, you gave emotion to objects and that really help set the atmosphere for this poem, the storyline was nice and smooth and I love the ending, very relatable, your timing was well though out and this seemingly well done piece, don't mean to be bothersome, but can you please leave some feed on my piece.

Thanks guy, appreciated.

Upping.

Uppidy up. Up your jacksy.

i liked these lines

I stand stunned at the drunken stance of the guitar

............


Staggering butterfly ballet dancers in motion…

............



those seemed the most poetic to me, the rest was ok, but just seemed to be like nicely formatted statements of drunkeness. soo all in want exactly knockout material as a whole.but showed some good potential lines


good bye

Thanks, upping.

this i thought wasn't your normal poeta drak poem wtf you bastard i hate you now, not but this was very expressive as in full of imagery that was vivid, the emotion was tastefully laid down, the concept i thought wasnt that original but yet your take to it was:), the vocabulary in this read was decent.....short but sweet and sexy oh yeah baby sexy. my poetry sidekick is back rb watchout written voices will own you all. good shit bruv

this i thought wasn't your normal poeta dark poem wtf you bastard i hate you now, not but this was very expressive as in full of imagery that was vivid, the emotion was tastefully laid down, the concept i thought wasnt that original but yet your take to it was:), the vocabulary in this read was decent.....short but sweet and sexy oh yeah baby sexy. my poetry sidekick is back rb watchout written voices will own you all. good shit bruv

iunno wether you saw or not but i fed this before the site got reset in the other thread you made...
basically i was saying that i liked it. probaly mostly because of the humour side of it 'cos thats how i like to write mostly, no matter what im writing about ill try and add some humour to the lines. I think you pulled this piece off pretty well. You put across the confusion people feel whilst they're drunk very nicely and it was a pretty chill read on many levels, considering how everyone likes to write these days. Thanks for the read.
Look for the piece im about to put up ''Heartbreak's Documentary'' from IE a week or two ago

Sure man.

Upping. And thanks for the feed.

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"Much apreciated as always dude... yes it was a much
more light hearted piece then my usual 'dark' poetry...
it's not dark poetry... it's more like comical/reality poetry...
I'm sure everyone above the age of 13 can relate to the piece...
unless you're like a nun or something, then i apologise
to those individuals!" - El Poeta
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Lets just say this was a decent piece. After just reading your other one... Im just gonna agree with you...... Its just much more light hearted then your usual dark poetry. More like comical/reality poetry. BUT its shows you have writing skills definitely. With some people it just feels like your reading the same shit over and over again. Not just that.... But this piece wasn't bad at all. So please dont think that's what im saying. Cause I wouldn't have even bothered to post a reply if that's how I felt towards this piece.... Very good and keep dropping shit more often.