The 1-2 Steps to getting nowhere

I take the path almost always traveled
simply for the fact they're selling road maps,
and throwing bread crumbs
below the old tracks;
but it seams as though this walk of life
is growing stale,
as I can't decipher the tread from gravel
heads and rolling shale.
a home I know

only by ambiguity.

and, I've got to find a better use
for these forks-
the taste of anxiety and metaphor
are all I've had for the past four
last suppers on the forest floor;
washing down the taste of hypocrisy
with skeletal apology-
wondering why my company is dead
and I'm the only eulogy
who seems
to hit the nail on the head.

I'm running low on cunning comebacks
for exactly why I've yet to back track
these overlapping memories-
but there's just something in those oaks
I find unusually beautiful

although,
oddly remote.

all along, I've been trying to follow
in your footsteps,
but your shoes have proved far too big-
and between the tears
and sour looks
I've reached a point of sinking shores
and bridgless brooks.

this is looking
more like before with ever step
I forget for next time-

without any reason why.

putting one foot in front of another
is for agile fairytales:
because all I got was a flat tire
and a painful case of mistrust and failure.
I even sang the song to recreate the atmosphere,
but I'm a little off key
and even a little more lost,
and eve is falling with the awning of frost.

so I stop walking in circles
and try on a square.

making the angles right
didn't leave me with anymore direction-
because two wrongs
actually make a left
and I left four mistakes along the way
to my own digression.

learning from my past
taught me the discern of alzheimer's;
five more miles to the smile
I don't even think I've ever met
but wish to find before
yours.

I'll never get a leg up

without the feet you swept from under me-
and I've come to see there's no tortuise
for me to archetype,
but only the head of hair
you've won by while I collected
the 1-2 steps

to getting nowhere.

ha, I finally got some feed on this and it gets sweeped.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=326122



wow, I LOVE your shit atti ..it's amazing how you can be so completely original every single time you write. you've got metaphors out the asshole that I've never seen or heard, and it's just been a pleasure reading your stuff through the time I've been here. your vocabulary is always off the charts too, and anyone can tell you're a well educated man when it comes to English writing and meanings. You use these words in ways I've never dreamed of using them. The piece itself, the topic, was crazy too. I like how you show the steps of this person and how to get nowhere fast through all these metaphors.

making the angles right
didn't leave me with anymore direction-
because two wrongs
actually make a left
and I left four mistakes along the way
to my own digression.

^that was awsome. loved it. thank you for being you atti ..

yea flows well. i know some say poems dont flow more for the sake of rythym ,, but this flows ,.like i like to make my poems flow.

i felt you had a nie imagery potrayal within the Lines even using the rhymes to add imagery instead of just rhyming........... cool,,,,
emotion seemem to be there also............ nice usage of vocab.smooth.,
nice mixture of metaphors as well .....
ill not be bothered to look for flaws, if there are any......


nice joint


pz

I replied to this poem but it didnt show so what the hell..

Atti? this poem was amazing.. I love the feeling I got when I read it aloud to myself. The way every word flowed together just to create this visual in my mind was really good. The content was good. I like the whole overall message and the creativity behind this poem. I could'nt think of something like this nice job.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=326120
^^
hit that pls.

this is a nice piece here atti.. you came well off with your originality again. the way your word your poems really gets to me cus i cant do that and ou make it seem so damn EASY!... the content in this was nice.. the flow of things and ho wit was easy to read yet complexed through the whole story was just down right rightiious you fucker!...lol. the transition from stanza to stanza aswell was koo i liked the travel map concept and the tracks line as your opener... it was koo... lol. it made me think wow... nice metaphors there.. lol. i like all your poems mostly cus of the emotion you put forth with your wording backin it up....

i really like this one atti.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by .. atti?

I take the path almost always traveled
simply for the fact they're selling road maps,
and throwing bread crumbs
below the old tracks;
but it seams as though this walk of life
is growing stale,
as I can't decipher the tread from gravel
heads and rolling shale.
a home I know

only by ambiguity.

and, I've got to find a better use
for these forks-
the taste of anxiety and metaphor
are all I've had for the past four
last suppers on the forest floor;
washing down the taste of hypocrisy
with skeletal apology-
wondering why my company is dead
and I'm the only eulogy
who seems
to hit the nail on the head.

I'm running low on cunning comebacks
for exactly why I've yet to back track
these overlapping memories-
but there's just something in those oaks
I find unusually beautiful

although,
oddly remote.

all along, I've been trying to follow
in your footsteps,
but your shoes have proved far too big-
and between the tears
and sour looks
I've reached a point of sinking shores
and bridgless brooks.

this is looking
more like before with ever step
I forget for next time-

without any reason why.

putting one foot in front of another
is for agile fairytales:
because all I got was a flat tire
and a painful case of mistrust and failure.
I even sang the song to recreate the atmosphere,
but I'm a little off key
and even a little more lost,
and eve is falling with the awning of frost.

so I stop walking in circles
and try on a square.

making the angles right
didn't leave me with anymore direction-
because two wrongs
actually make a left
and I left four mistakes along the way
to my own digression.

learning from my past
taught me the discern of alzheimer's;
five more miles to the smile
I don't even think I've ever met
but wish to find before
yours.

I'll never get a leg up

without the feet you swept from under me-
and I've come to see there's no tortuise
for me to archetype,
but only the head of hair
you've won by while I collected
the 1-2 steps

to getting nowhere.

---

It was beautiful


"all along, I've been trying to follow
in your footsteps,
but your shoes have proved far too big-
and between the tears
and sour looks
I've reached a point of sinking shores
and bridgless brooks."

relatable although when I read I didn't feel it in the moment but in a past tense. Your visonary is amazing and you make your words so weet. I love the way you flow thru out your whole poem. Very well executed
Keep up your simply amazing!

really well written, i really enjoy your style,
it's like looking through frosted glass, it's really
hard to see what's behind it, but you can still
figure it out.

the way you describe things is solid, one of your
best features "agile fairytales" etc. i really dug the
two wrongs don't make a right bit - it was a well
worded way to use a very common cliche/wordplay
in a unique way. you could take a played concept
and make it fresh just because your writing is that
refreshing. definately liked this, good subject matter,
well executed - really captured the human condition.

D-O-P-E <-----that's all the feed you're getting























lol jp, this was dope as fuck dude, I looove your poetry, It's hard to decide which is better, your topicals or your poetry, both are always illy as fuck. I was feeling this whole piece the imagery was beautiful, and the metaphors were amazing, that's one thing I have always admired about you, your ability to come up with such dope metaphors, I seriously don't know anyone on this site, that can do it better than you. emotion was very very strong in this piece, you really know how to write a captivating poem, your word usage is phenomenal, you are a true poet, and I hope you keep writing poems, because if you do I shall keep on reading. you are a smart mother fucker lol that is clear, I would never have thought of something like this. this was dope as fuck dude, props, and keep dropping that illy poetry :2thumb: