Forever Changed...

They thought he could never change...

His name is Alex will say, and he's addicted to pain...
...Self inflicted that is
As a child, he was a victim of getting picked on by kids
Slits on his wrist, or cigarette burns and drugs
The tears that he once abhorred, he eventually learned to love
Where were his parents? They ignored the evidence
Even when they saw the severed flesh...
...They never knew what it ever meant
Heaven sent Alex no reply to his messages; Denied
So, with a cheap knife he continued, and he cried
-
The pain he was once afraid of became an escape then
It seperated him from reality...
...'Cause he projected his hurt into rage and vexation
He hated this, and his soul was hollow...
...It was erased within
Because people with no heart always played with his
They made him feel inhuman, and their words only fed the hate
So, what he learned is to cut through the dermis...
...To see if he bled the same
But the lacerations scabbed, just before the new scars came
And the mass of days then passed, filled with more of the heartache
The razor blades grew dull...
...The blood stains constantly changed
Alex was his own enemy, And only friend; Opposites remained
Twice a week, he still tempted to feel that burnin' rush
But he knew what started with knives, might soon turn to guns
And he didn't want suicide...
...That isn't worth it, see
It's not that he was afraid to die...
...He was afriad to live for eternity
-
Later down the road, he finally went to the bottle
Got drunk one night and drove...
...Pushed the pedal full throttle
Head on collision, but was still livin' suprisingly
In a coma for 2 months, and then he died...
...Inside of me

I forever changed...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=322548
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=321729

ha pretty dope man

never seen any of your stuff so was expecting some herbish RB shit

emotion was paramount in this, kept the whole thing surging along and had some hot lines too
every line seemed to relate to the build up and then the next couple explainin the feeling or whatever, cool read

Slits on his wrist, or cigarette burns and drugs
The tears that he once abhorred, he eventually learned to love

Because people with no heart always played with his

So, what he learned is to cut through the dermis...
...To see if he bled the same

But he knew what started with knives, might soon turn to guns

and the end finished with aplomb

best piece i've read on here in awhile, although admitedly i havent been on RB for awhile

flow was cool, the mechanics of the verse weren't ground breaking or bursting with multies and internals, but i feel that takes a back seat in a drop like this

much props

get back at my verse Dark Matter and gimme your thoughts

peace

cool piece man, I remember reading that first half alittle while ago. this was really a very well thought out drop, however, I didn't really like the narrative stance or the sequence. while I really liked the storyline itself, the actual sequence of events at times seemed to be a bit choppy and it took away from the fluency of the piece as a whole. the flow on this, was unique. very on point and just different, I loved it. almost a throwback to camarac and a bit like engivale's. the piece almost seemed like a take off of A Clockwork Orange, between the characters actions and his name. not sure if that was intended or what but I love the movie so it was a nice spin-off. liked this, you're got promise.

well, you know from reading the mag that i thought this was a very good peice. I think that with some work on your wording, you could be up there competiting with the best of them. You had a nice story, and your imagery was spot on and portrayed a nice picture and feel to your peice. Your rhyme scheme was alright, nothing much to complain about there. Nice shit dude, keep at it......you have mad potential, and are already better than most who post in this forum, keep at it. Props and peace

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=323228
rtf plz

You're someone from a different site? Haha, I'm on too many sites. Anyway, this was real cool. You're obviously a very seasoned writer. The mechanics weren't mind blowing, but I still see that this is your featured style of writing and it complimented the story rather well. I felt the end was sort of twist to me because I initially thought this was a cliche story about forever changing, but inside of me gave me an enlightening perspective on the entire story as a whole. Kind of like a breath of fresh air. Good stuff.