Rich Dad Poor Dad

Rich Dad Poor Dad

"What does your daddy do?"

my dad drives a dump truck
he says in life hes stuck
my dad is a plumber...
he gets home and says its a bummer
my dad travels all over
he kills for the government undercover.

"now Timmy lets not joke around and upset the other kids."

sprials ground my temples as the pain thrives
thunder crashes as gun lashes crumple lives
sublte knives cloaks and daggers.
millitary men who walk with a swagger
its a maggots lair, infested dimensions
must i mention the brutal warfare dicenscion
incension as rape takes on the forum of prevention
lies create more bodies borderd with flies
the crys echo of the dying in vain, no replies
as reprise slips between bloody fingers...

the reoccurring dream hits like a whirlwind
i fit with sin, but eventually life's hallways turn dim
shred the vanity from dried and cracked skin
I've trimmed away insanity from guilt with each session
learned the lessons of the trade with transgression
a blessing of disaproving grace... in this game
submission of the wills drives a heavy burdend train
the only light i hold, is just to keep from going insane
my main goal another blood bath... cascading trauma
every breath i speak leaves a comma....
a removal of the head, a message that stalls war
I've halted scores of hearts, a cause i fight for...
the misled delight turns my glass chest sore...
bored of the normal...i pass under walkways scatted with snow
and see as it turns red and imagination grows
i should be hospitalized by now....
the pound of this ludicris sound controls my every thought
i laugh out loud , scheming another ridiculously morbid plot.
I've absorbed it and can't stop...
by now i don't know how many bullets I've whispered n' shot
untouchable a ghost, just shy of a death wish list, never cry
withing grasp the end i leap for, everyday i try...
but fall short as another brain stops from my hands lead flies
i repent to the devil cause god has left me
and now the sins i carry grow demonic wings hefting
and the demand for my job rises over desert sands... grey blunder....
another clan leader to blow asunder...
.................................................. ...i am the bounty hunter

Links in about an hour.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=318615

up.

it was a clear and direct, but you guided too much away from the story. no one could understand anything until the ending. and the ending seemed a lil' forced. you can use and create an even flow that expresses alot of emotion, and you had alot of dope lines, especially the holding on one. just the story wasnt that great.

leave feed on my OM...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=319382

Well, man.. I thought this was dope. You switched your style up to great success in my opinion. I loved the intro' part, then straight into what almost seemed like a journal passage or something. Venting what he feels etc onto the page. Your rhyming was your strong point for me as you kept nice relevant rhymes flowing throughout the story. You did slow down near the end, as most people do, but it wasn't enough to deter me. Thought the end was a bit cheesy, lol.. seemed like a Chuck Norris line lmao. "I AM THE BOUNTER HUNTER..." haha. Anyways, I liked this a lot, and will most likely be one of my personal nom's for HOF. Props, not many people get that :-)