Positive (Womens Perspective)

"The Only Difference Between A Saint And A Sinner Is A Saint Is Saved Before It Falls"

We've all made mistakes, mine seem to be larger than life
Sex is a sacred act of love and my vagina im not guarding it right
I thought i had the flu, found out i had something much bigger
The doctor said I was HIV positive and it had spread to my liver
As I scurry out the office I see everyone staring at me
I must be hallucinating because I see them pointing and laughing
Tears burn my eyes i hear the laughter now its getting louder
they were looking for the town idiot well now they found her
the smell of defeat fills my nostrils burning with every sniff
My past, present, and potential, all collide in this single event
The driness of my shock filled lungs deletes any voice i had
How am i going to continue to live? I cant imagining telling dad
I dont wanna live with this abominable disease i have nowhere to turn
In my souls going to burn, but i guess safe sex is good i guess i had to learn
If i die it wont be more than a mercy killing, so why must i live
This disease will plague me forever, my kids and even thier kids
So i get a gun hoping to do the right thing, i have no but to give up

BAM!!!!
.....Silence
.......Silence
.....Phone Rings

I get a call from the doctor saying that the result mistakingly got mixed up
So pretty much i died for nothing, i didnt even get a chance to live
All because of the mistakes of one doctor saying I was HIV positive

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=315205
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=314956

Meh, didnt really like it homie. Sorry, sex peices dont hit it for me. The wording was nice and flow was smooth. The imagenation was realistic. The Creativty was very nice. The structre was good. The Peice came out great. But I hate sex plotted peices. Keep writing great. Use better topics lol please.

~Blind.

^^aight thanks for leavin feedback

hmmm pretty played topic with that sex shit but you came at it with the view of a woman which was kinda creative...you had some good lines and then some off lines..but you're flow was good for most of the drop some stretched lines threw it off...vocab was a bit simple that couldve improved alot but it was still pretty good...you came with an alright strutre that i didnt mind reading either...so this was a pretty good read...i look forward to seeing more from you..keep up and hit the siggy.

^^thanks for feeding DJ... i'll work on my vocab

This piece wasnt about sex, what the hell is everyone talking about? He mentions "vagina" and "sex" in a piece, and you automatically think and pronounce thats it's all about sex... Wrong.

This piece was short and good, it had an easy to follow flow, and that was its best feature. You're metaphors and imagery had me really feeling the emotions she was feeling.

Overall, a good piece, keep up the great work.

RTF on "The Blind Perspective"

yea...this topic i didnt really like until i got midway into the piece...i like how you put a twist at the end but to be truthful it was a very predictable twist...again with played topics people know what to expect so i pretty much knew what was going to happen...it was pretty well written but you couldnt made it flow better and used a lot more multies...not your best work but ...eh it was an interesting read....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by .Unruly.Theory.

This piece wasnt about sex, what the hell is everyone talking about? He mentions "vagina" and "sex" in a piece, and you automatically think and pronounce thats it's all about sex... Wrong.

This piece was short and good, it had an easy to follow flow, and that was its best feature. You're metaphors and imagery had me really feeling the emotions she was feeling.

Overall, a good piece, keep up the great work.

RTF on "The Blind Perspective"

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^^will do...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ..IllThoughtZ..

yea...this topic i didnt really like until i got midway into the piece...i like how you put a twist at the end but to be truthful it was a very predictable twist...again with played topics people know what to expect so i pretty much knew what was going to happen...it was pretty well written but you couldnt made it flow better and used a lot more multies...not your best work but ...eh it was an interesting read....

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aight thanks for feeding on it. im dropping a new one with Wyte 2 night

This was good JFC...The wording was great and the imagery was fukN dope....though the topic kinda threw me off you still did a good job adding the twist on the end....overall this was a decient drop for you trying this topical shit.. just work on your vocab and different formats until you find the one that fit's your stlye...every line does'nt have to rhyme like aabb it can be abab or abba . ya know...just try em and see which one works best....

i liked dis piece it was nice nd easy 2 read. nice flow nd da rimes wer nice. multis wer kwl nd u stayed on point well. topic i fort was nice i aint read nethin like da b4 so nice nd original. all 2getha it was a gud piece.

peace :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by .......*

This was good JFC...The wording was great and the imagery was fukN dope....though the topic kinda threw me off you still did a good job adding the twist on the end....overall this was a decient drop for you trying this topical shit.. just work on your vocab and different formats until you find the one that fit's your stlye...every line does'nt have to rhyme like aabb it can be abab or abba . ya know...just try em and see which one works best....

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thansk fam.

up .

upp niggers