topic - It Was A Dream
lines - 10-20
check in 10 mins
due in 1 hour
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topic - It Was A Dream
lines - 10-20
check in 10 mins
due in 1 hour
check ima drop a quik verse as i got shit to do
ok im checking in im up first
ok before i go i gotta let ya'll know im garbage at topics.....
yo this stuff im about to put down has to be a dream
cuz that's just how it seems and this is somthing you could'nt beleive
now me and this dude untouchable were rapping againt each other
and he went up first and then it was my turn to rip this brother
so i spit my shit and it was hot and all of a sudden
the first round was done and they were booing and fronting
i was like what's up i know he was whack
but don't even diss the boy like that
and they were lik nah we booing at you
and i was like what the fuck and this was round 2
then he spit his shit his and it was ok
but him beating me hell nah no way
so then i spit mine again and they started booing again
so i was like the hell with this why am i doing this shit
so real talk this had to be a dream
for his whack ass to ever beat me
yeah that one was whack to...that's the last time i topic battle
dam it just came to ma head man lol just kept cumin prob the weed in ma system lol and thankgod i did it in time
this is the dream of a thousand suffering men
no one would even start to comprehend them
realised in solitude, they began there journey
the dream constant in thoughts but also in irony
not related to the present the past mourns
the giant misdemeans, the ant scorns
reluctant to capitalise he stays loyal
never a bad word to say, so regal and royal
competant in the feild, he lacks in intelligence
the shortage of consideration culminates his impotence
never forgetting, always remembering what has been said
the dream is everything, and for that he bled
the dream is all that is thought about and considered
when all fails and everything is lost the dream is reconsidered
the dream is ultimatly slaughtered in cold blood
taken away from all with a life, nothing left but a tearful flood
the bearing of this friendship strung up as the dream ends
agonising pain runs blatent as they were once friends
its all over for them as the sorrow fills his emotion
the dream lost, gone, sunk in the deepest ocean
The Dream Of Lennie And Carl From Of Mice And Men.
lol again the topic thing does not work out for me....that's the last time i rap about topics..........
ricktick, that was an amazingly wack verse lol not meaning to be harsh but there realy was no effort or anythin that stood out. you obviously do not understand the consepts of topicals, dnt give up the jus elevate man.
untouch, your verse was pretty decent, i liked the poeticness of verse, alot of complex literature and a gd use of punctuation
i know cuz i did'nt try cuz lol i hate topic battles
so i know it was fucking whack but im better in a regular battle so fuck it lol
Touch: getting better as i can see *You'll never beat me :rolleyes:*. The wording was nice and the flow was smooth. The creatyivty could have been better but oh well. And the Imaganry was good. Keep elevating son.
Rick: Damn man.. Stop with the pain fully short words dogg. Like..
yo this stuff im about to put down has to be a dream
cuz that's just how it seems and this is somthing you could'nt beleive
Do this..
Poetry I'm about to write must be a dream
Not what it seems, you just could not believe
Alot cleaner and better.
Th flow is nice. You're creativty is better but imagenary and structre needs more elevation. Keep trying son.
Vote: Touch.
~Blind
uppin 1
yo this stuff im about to put down has to be a dream
cuz that's just how it seems and this is somthing you could'nt beleive
Boo
now me and this dude untouchable were rapping againt each other
and he went up first and then it was my turn to rip this brother
Wack
so i spit my shit and it was hot and all of a sudden
the first round was done and they were booing and fronting
Hehe
i was like what's up i know he was whack
but don't even diss the boy like that
Boo
and they were lik nah we booing at you
and i was like what the fuck and this was round 2
Nuhuh
then he spit his shit his and it was ok
but him beating me hell nah no way
lol
so then i spit mine again and they started booing again
so i was like the hell with this why am i doing this shit
Exactly
so real talk this had to be a dream
for his whack ass to ever beat me
Ok.... Best line^
Rick...start using more time to write, your blowing thru your verses and your text isnt clicking right, serious, keep this up and youll be 0-20, some of your verses are good they just werent forumulated right.
this is the dream of a thousand suffering men
no one would even start to comprehend them
Ok.
realised in solitude, they began there journey
the dream constant in thoughts but also in irony
Mmmmeh.
not related to the present the past mourns
the giant misdemeans, the ant scorns
Ok.
reluctant to capitalise he stays loyal
never a bad word to say, so regal and royal
Ok.
competant in the feild, he lacks in intelligence
the shortage of consideration culminates his impotence
Good thought.. mmmeh. decent.
never forgetting, always remembering what has been said
the dream is everything, and for that he bled
Good.
the dream is all that is thought about and considered
when all fails and everything is lost the dream is reconsidered
Good.
the dream is ultimatly slaughtered in cold blood
taken away from all with a life, nothing left but a tearful flood
Good.
the bearing of this friendship strung up as the dream ends
agonising pain runs blatent as they were once friends
ok.
its all over for them as the sorrow fills his emotion
the dream lost, gone, sunk in the deepest ocean
Great.
Touchable, your verse was cleaner but some of your words are a lil shakey on the rhyme pattern, maybe embrace a lil more wordplay and youll be dope.
Vote = Untouchable
Not much to breakdown honestly i feel this was a pretty one sided battle determined by the facts that Touch verse was more consistant in terms of imagry, emotion, structure and vocabulary, Rick you have much to work on when it comes to topicals even in audio every verse is a topical so if your having a hard time with this then more then likely your audio pretty much sounds the same about everything else take heed to my words elevation is a must.
v-Untouchable
weak topical battle...rick you're verse was bad on the vocab and strutre and the flow kept falling off and you didnt stick to the topic all through you're verse you need to improve the way you come with you're topical...un touch the weakest thing about you're verse was the strutre it was bad...the vocab and wording couldve been alot more better as it was to simple...but you stuck to the topic through you're verse and thats how you got this..v/untouch hit the sig.