Agree on your line limit...
Verses will be due by Friday midnight pacific...
This battle will not be polled...but it will count towards your points in the rankings...
New rule...pick your topics...
Topic(s) :
Politics In The Public Eye
1860s
Iam The Leader Of (country) And I....
http://img100.imageshack.us/img100/2...copyqw3sn1.jpg
Checkin N imma try to write to all three wat ever sounds better imma post
1860s:
The leash is sliced
Slow drums beat announcing a war of brethrens
Civilisation jumps aboard the warship aiming
Towards their neighbours; cheered by heathens
Beads of bloods vaporised with rotted shaming
Claiming ideals by the republic only to add oil
To boil the burning democrats in further turmoil
Coiled whips unleashed upon leashed men to pain
Spoils of the day gained through men slain
Lispers by man, cut lips & tongues slipped & stung
Whipped and hung, nipped standing to lunge
Catch a fleeting moment of freedom, an inspiration
Will their leader…really bring a "new birth of freedom"
Politics In The Public Eye:
Booker T. Washington- 9 years old
Broken melody with patchy tunes create an abode
Of cheers & suppressed joy, happiness & life atoned
Stoned & weathered men who once crumbled stand
Look of incipient hope long gone returns, jumping and
Dancing up a fervour to augment their rare moment
Plantation songs plant freedom to further foment
Minds that were bound around the pole of slavery
A cavalry of slaves group up, awarded for bravery
Remember mother watering happiness upon her seed
Arguably timely indeed; remember finally being freed
I am The Leader Of this land And I………
Believe that unity will only be achieved in totality
When freedom is given with true liberty & spread
All upon this broken bread, like our broker serenity
The dread bought with war & turmoil spoiled instead
The promised tranquillity that only came as empty
As the argument of augments and chained slaves
I Brake those chains and I placate the riveting graves
Of troubled souls watching afar, their children in poverty
No loner a slave, emancipation proclamation is decreed
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...oclamation.jpg
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi..._signature.JPG
http://images.google.com/images?q=tb...oon_10_jpg.jpg
I am the Leader of The Rising Moon
Rising Moon Disaster
With every moons entrance there's a suns exit.
Then we're left with lifes lessons and the lack of perfection
Every gleaming star seems to be to far from dreams.
Bring your beating heart into this darkened scene.
These charred wings carry me onto the other side.
Break through seams trying to believe why others write.
What forms of intellect need to intersect to gain ink control.
Resserect my hollow chest with a breath from a deeper soul.
Am I blessed?? with the pressure to press this pens tip
Time to address those less then best with one sentence.
With every smile someone drops a tear from their cheek.
Pearls fall for miles while thoughts in the mirror speak.
Paragraphs form with a pair of laughs.. Sit and stare in gaps.
Then dare to grasp your hairline path.. Affected by pasts.
Infected with maps through the stars with no transportation
Follow the situation behind the moon, awaiting it's replacement.
Chasing the horizion while facing a life of a lonely silence.
Stating a bias opinion while fading into a home of violence.
A textbook family facing random scenes of societys hell.
My feet are landing free while I stand to sing of why the sun fell.
But only a gun's felt.. These words speak empty with scorn.
Watch the sun melt.. With spilt milk a child is sin free and torn.
Beat with heavy hands, his only chance was none.
Repeat this deadly dance.. While the moons outlasts his freedom.
A falling sun keeps the earth on rotation.
While a calling son leaves hurt towards hells basment.
Beneath the very feet that beat his dreams dead.
His breathes a weary breath while bleeding red regret.
Satan's companion.. With torment outstanding the passing time
Hate granted an everlasting boredom.
Sworn in.. He demands me to grasp his shrine.
Bare witness to his relentless diminish of life.
Stare into the image while he finishes the spark to strife.
Then he starts to light the stars a flame worth framing.
It won't grow dark tonite. Gaining a larger fame worth saving.
Begging ...Someone... Please save me.
But no one believes those hands are degrading.
Forced to kneel before him.. the leader of this rising moon.
Appealed with sins. He feeds dirt to those he's consumed.
The control of the sky sits in his burning fist.
A firm hold on the moons life as time drifts towards endless..
This was a very close and dope match prolly the best topical in FL yet..pak you came very nice with almost near perfect flow on every line...could've improved you're multies..but you had a very good sense of vocab though you couldve improved some of the wording choices you made in certain areas of you're verse..But you came nice with the strutre and kept is easy to read and added in the pictures for more intrest and you came very creative with the topic something most writers could not of done. X Talent you're verse was laid our perfectly and was dope as fuck...perfect flow though a couple of lines could've been better...multies we're nice on almost the whole verse though you lacked some in good spots...strutre was you're worst part i felt that you had alot of stretched lines that fucked up the flow for you but yet you made up for with the creativty of you're drop which kept me reading and intrested through out the whole peice unlike paks which i got bored at some moments..no hate but vote goes to X Talent...hit All the links in sig.
PAK.... nice i like how u chose to hit all three topics ur flow like dj said near perfection nice vocab but i also agree wit him about u coulda used multis more usefully in this but over all i like the thought that went into this peice nice with the topics u hit all of them right on
Xplict.....nice as well u had some hot lines in there fams i woulda liked if u chose to do what pak did and hit all 3 topics i think it woulda won this battle for u but u picked one and i liked ya peice but it didnt show a varity nice vocab and shit tho....
overall dopest topie.. battle ive read on these frontlines mad respect to both niggas...
v*PAK
by a 3 topic decision
Good battle, i must agree with Dj... when he said this is probably the best FL battle yet.
Pakaveli-Dope drop man. Your flow was tight and i read this so easily it was immense, your vocabulary in this i thought was dope and your imagery and emotion in this piece settled and worked nicely. You had some multis in your verse but i felt it kinda lacked a few but it was aiight, This isnt the best drop i have seen from you but it was a very good drop none the less, so good job. 8 and 1/2 out of 10.
XYou came just as dope my friend, your flow was just as dope as paks and it read so easily, You had nice imagery and your emotion fitted the topic and you worked it in nicely, your vocabulary was nice and you did a good job. However i am only able to vote on the basis of what i thought when i'd finished reading both pieces, so i will have to vote Pakaveli because my mind was like wow when id finished with his but x...you was very good homie well done. 8 out of 10.
Okay here goes...
Baron ....jesus....your piece was a very complexing read...i had to go over it twice to fully comprehend...you used very good vocab and emotion...this concept was very advanced because i know you had to research a little bit to get the detail down pack which makes this piece that much more sick...the best aspect of how you wrote this was the type of rhyme scheme you had...
those are my favorite lines because of the emotion felt...i also liked how you rhymed every other line...good job..Quote:
Believe that unity will only be achieved in totality
When freedom is given with true liberty & spread
All upon this broken bread, like our broker serenity
The dread bought with war & turmoil spoiled instead
okay
Xplicit omfg...your piece was ridiculous....imagery was spilling over the top in this piece....your concept was sooo original and very interesting to read...vocab was placed and used at the appropriate moments...nice multies and structure...geeesh...
my favorite lines...now that's how you end a piece right there..Quote:
The control of the sky sits in his burning fist.
A firm hold on the moons life as time drifts towards endless..
overall this was a very very very close battle because both of your topics were very well written...
But only one person can win...LoL..
Being that im a big fan of history i will have to say that Baron edged it out...dont get me wrong Xplicit your piece was sick..but it amazes me more when someone takes a real subject in history and remakes it so that it's his own...
Baron /w
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=314877
hit dat link wit feed plzz...very much appreciate it..thank you
dam v nice battle here pak ur verse was nice as hell nice flow and nice imagary and sum deep emotion in here, there was sum nice multis in it aswell, nice wordin and a nice structure to wich helped the flow
x ya verse was nice aswell but the structure wasnt that good i thought there was sum strectched lines in there but u had sum nice imagary and creativity, at sum points there is nice flow but get slet down wen the lines are stretched
i thought pak had that little much more then x's verse so ima have to vote for pak even tho both drops wer awsome
vote honestly on this plz if u have the time
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=315049
Thanks for the votes..i'll try my best to return all the links as soon as possible.
Closed...damn good battle you two