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The American Dream
As bright light embarks its journey onto my
humble abode, i sit laced in perennial bewil-
derment- So subtle a voice is cried from the
wilderness there yonder, where the horizon
is rendered by envy and the blowing of
weeping willows. My peppermint tea-brewing
so potent because of age and wisdom displayed
by its fervor- Corrupted vision stains the
heights and cleanses the Earth so what is
my delirium that ponders me so? For my mind
spins like the globe on its axle- captive to the
American Dream.. Hope engulfs the sight of
the innocent giving power to the blind- We
are rebels, predestined to the fate of our
predecessors- Eye for an eye, but success
is merely in the Eye of whom beholds....
My peppermint tea- so rich in satisfaction,
holds to me in which I hold to it-
... .The American Dream......
This was just a lil quickie i whipped up so its not long...but feed plzz..links on the way..
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i think it was pretty cool for a just whip up....
im new here dawg so show some luv
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My peppermint tea-brewing
so potent because of age and wisdom displayed
this really got me and i think its the best part inthe think
though the rest suits it keep it comming with the stuff
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for starters this was a poem, so its in the wrong section
anyhow,
wasn't mghtily impressed with this, it didnt live up to the promise of what i woulda expected from the title
seemed a bit too 'spaced out', as i didn't cut to the heart of the topic at hand and didnt really hold my attention either
this topic needed expansion
dont get me wrong it wasn't poorly written, but lacked punch and left me with no lasting thoughts
keep writing
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I think this shoulve been in P.S. but what the hey. It eas a nice drop the emotion was felt. its was worded well the imagery was coo. no multi's ? but overall this was a good read you kept it short and sweet. nice shit keep it ^ RTF.....PLZ
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thanks for da feed guys...uppin....i will rtf soon...
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it was okay, more of a poem - some lines where cool, nothing outstanding.
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rise ...last time so plzz feed me
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This was a nice piece right here....love the way you told the story, flow was good as well and I feel your lyrics man.
Nice job, keep it up/
