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Judge Me Not
Poison fills my heart as I sit in the dark/
Poison fills my soul as I breathe in the cold/
Bringing the demise of others for one's interest/
My heart aches to sing of a time I may finish/
The longer I starve the hunger overcomes me/
Consumed by greed I cannot see clearly/
The focus once so vivid begins to cave/
The dreams once held so close no longer stay/
Everyday my heart dims more inside this place/
Everyday it gets harder to look at the mirror's face/
But I will try/
Try for the ones I love/
Try for the memories of tears and hugs/
Try because they assumed how I would live/
Try for those who had fallen with everything to give/
I will try with all my might to reach greater heights/
I will try hoping to be able to sleep at night/
I will try... I will try and I may fail/
But, to fail would be better then to have never tried/
So, you may judge me if I succeed/
But, judge me not if I fail to achieve/
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can i get some type of response damn
uppin
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first off lose these /// my friend their a sign of noobish their really is no definite topic bro its more of ranting and shiet try to right on different topics like religion and stuff but this was like basic no use of multies and a basic ryhme scheme also the flow was off keep writting tho
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Yeah....>_>" ....
Just try to implement Multies and stay on topic and you should be straight. Also, try to end lines with words that have a double/Or more rhyme schemes, for example... Pitiful - Critical. Just keep writing and read other people's pieces, you'll catch on.
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I like the darkness that your depicted. It comes across to me like when you reach that point that you want to give up. Also saying don't judge negatively if I don't make it, at least I tried.
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Hmmm...dark...very dark....and tortured, definitely tortured...lol...listen, like the bowl said up top...what the F was you talkin about? are you upset about being judged? about being labled or something? Did you lose something that was very dear to you? or are you just emotionally confused and you would like us to know that said emotional rollercoaster which you seem to be riding on also has fashioned you into a ticking time bomb of sorts?
Be clearer.
Let it snow
