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The Leaning Shoe
THE LEANING SHOE
A great day lies ahead as I am lifted out of the corner finally
Last outing left grass shouting as I walked Earth's refinery
The warn towel soothes my sole as you clear away dirt's pose
interlocked in strings and socks as our relationship grows
Favorite Nah...maybe least yet I appreciate the concrete
and the threading of pants leggings as they chaffer beyond me
It's been a while since I've been styled and questioned by crowds
I was the shit when you picked me yet you switched in denial
Our times were the best me crisp and you fresh
fitted out with out-fits rocked losse or tight streatched
As I age I wear becoming rugged, scuffed, and jacked
yet at the top of the pile I sit and I still match ya hats
It's been a minute sice you put cha feet in it and started pimpin
My I wish it was the beginning so these days I envision
Stomping faces or switching laces or just rocked basic
each stride with you inside seemed forever more gracious
Now that I've become the talk amongst and between your crew
I've come to the realization that I'm THE LEANINIG SHOE
http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e1.../shoe_july.jpg
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BUMP .... Plz don't sleep.
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aight man, shit wierd to do a post on a shoe but ti had good creativity. the lyricals were good also the wordplay. it was good all the way. i like how the two lines started off.
A great day lies ahead as I am lifted out of the corner finally
Last outing left grass shouting as I walked Earth's refinery
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Thankx appreciate the feed. creativity is what I was going after with this piece.
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Ok, decent peice. weird topic to go for, but original, which is always nice to see. You started off very well, the first two lines really impressed me, but then as it went on it seemed to gradually get weaker in content and grammer, you had a few grammatical errors which annoyed the hell out of me, but other than that, this was quite a good peice, and you put together a decent read, nice shit. You need to work on your rhyme scheme, it was boring and unoriginal. Plus you need to find your own style and refine it. Keep at it dude. Nice read, could be better, but not bad.
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Thankx for the honest feed Witness. I see what you mean. I did get kinda bored with it as I continued. but The topic was different and dope. appreciate it.
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Interesting idea about a shoe(never seen that done before :P) Style was kinda basic, but it flowed nicely. Though, near ending it seems kinda off like you forgot or lost interest in the topic. Not bad to read though keep it up
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Fuck all that feedback...This piece was beautiful. Topic was very good and everything was creative. I've never seen anyone speak from the perspective of a shoe before. I actually felt like a shoe was talking. As for the shoe; its time for retirement.
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Talking in a shoes perspective. Nice. Lol. But really, I liked the piece and thought it had a few weak areas and the vocab. coulda been better, this was an enjoyable read. I've come to find I like reading your drops Forum. Hit up "The Two" if it ever gets opened again.
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though the feed is i have not realy undertook the notion of long lines it would seem that you have been concenterating on the theam too much it is pointless the point to this
is that a diminished rhym is lost in the line
i think that you need to get the perspective straight though it would help if you notice the genius behind and viewed the pice as a whole rather then indivual lines the strujcture is suggesting short bursts though i think its not helping in the long run this point is taken to grivences on your part.
if however you wish to continue i would remind you to proceade this course of action is at your own free will it will be decided that you have not come into the realisiation of the bigger the mind out side the box .....
its your decision.
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