rap song

“Back Off”

Why people always wanna hate// ain’t too quick to congratulate// never givin’ you props// when you the first steppin’ up to the plate// changin’ the game not for worse, but for better// the only thing they in it for is the glamour and cheddar// but when you the thing that’s in// now they tryin’ to be your friend// and now they respect what you and what you spit// now they like a lil’ kid// latched on to your hip// but they too scared to think for themselves cause they know they’ll sit on the shelf and collect dust// while you doin’ your thing and showin’ everybody whats up//

Back up off me (off)// u ain’t right// just do your own thing and live your own life// you’ll never be like me// you’ll never achieve glory// cuz u too scared to spread your wings and be a man// yeah//

My rhymes iz ill like a hospital patient// and u just mad cuz u settin’ round waiting// waiting for your chance to make a name in the game// but as long as I’m here// you won’t be seein’ none of dat// yeah// yo chance of blowin’ is like Anna Nicole fittin’ in a size 2 // you know what I’m sayin’// it ain’t happenin’// give it up playboy//


Chorus 2X

I’m like a Randy Johnson fastball comin’ a hundred and three// u like Fernando Vina sayin’ “Looky here it’s mini me.”// got enuff ice to fill a refrigerator// got enuff whips to whoop yo baby-sitter//

Chorus

reppin’ for tha Midwest all tha way// I’m out// ONE//

Not to bad ... you need to up the vocab tho I think ... had some nice original shitz in there tho ... keep postin no doubt ... this piece had nice flo wit it tru ... keep elevate'n

PARTS O DIS DIDNT SEEM 2 FIT,I AINT DISSIN JUS HELPIN 2 ELEVATE WHAT U MISSIN,

you won’t be seein’ none of dat// yeah// yo chance of blowin’ is like Anna Nicole fittin’ in a size 2 // you know what I’m sayin’// it ain’t happenin’// give it up playboy//

DIS PART HAD ME LOST,DIDNT KNO WHERE U WAZ HEADED,IT DIDNT GO W/ DA REST,DIDNT REALLY RYME,BUT STILL SUMPIN 2 WORK OFF OF,SO KEEP AT IT,PEACE

P.S.
WHAT PART DA MID-WEST U HAILIN FROM???

the only ice you got are the cubes in your drink
i sugest you get a new page and reaply the ink


people hate because you need to elevate

hey, everybody thanx 4 tha advice. im from illinois. im out

yo the first section was coo..i was feelin ya there but what happend man..you just fell apart at the end? you got potential though so keep elevatin...

pz

Good flow.. average. lyics. All your "punchlines" were played out.. the similies were boring.. and the overall content was just out-dated.. BUT, the flow was really good. So.. it woulda been nice in audio.

^^^^ I don't agree but u need a little help check my thread in da wackness emergency center it'll help u alot if u want i'll put in example of each element
U can only get better ~1~