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The Second Symphony
The Second Symphony
By: Nash
a daze sets a blaze to the fire of song
beaten amazed by the precious desire he longed
one second, one moment ..a tick into time
a slick movement in the hand and mind
he demands his sign be imprinted in this key
one first and one second'll be all that he needs
as he presses down a finger ..
pressure frowns and lingers, and this town of an audience stares
for god he sends, unaware of the song that frolick ahead of his cares
chilling the hairs of people who sit still in their chairs
watch as harmony takes them there ..
he believes the peace of the key he'll soon touch
is the link between ugly and fare ..the crutch
sort of scared, his finger shakes ..it lowers upon it's blessing
leading to the aching symphony, which dawns on souls he's besting
before hand, so much testing ..
but after hand, a masterpiece is played
and as notes pass.. so breeds a dying day
and lying away in the depths of decay
a dusty piano sits ..
and fears a man who plays in violent fits
torment of a piano, as it's buttons are pushed
it awaits its people and their soft touching looks
the second symphony ..
is the art before a song, that key the finger longs
the pressing moment, when people guess that nothing's wrong
a small gong, or a ding ..a ring into the ear
people listen for the heaven that they'll hear ..
an auditorium of people, and it's that one note they beckon
.. and he hits that one key.. that is pushed for but a second
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i didn't know you did topicals Cry but that seems like a topical name anywayz
you could have used better vocab but sick multis and the ability of being able to read this easy helped it alot i have never seen a topica like this before its unique
your imagery was nice so was the emotoion i felt in this your ending was really really solid i liked that and every thing under "as he presses down a finger .." that part was dope
overall extremly nice drop cry i loved this piece
can you please leave feed on this
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=312918
stay up
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thanks, hit it up after a bit maybe.
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this was a ncie piece...but in my eye's nothing really jawed me much but you as usual always have great series of multies and metaphors that details the scene imprinted a bit more and that sure is ahelper right there you did a nice job in content and you assorted them all out to were it was not all bunched into one whole bar but assorted into every single stanza..you let each stanza tell itself which was koo...i liked that cus of the emotino your added in your did a nice job man. nice vocab here too nothing too over the top.
keep writing man!.
RTF on Samantha C. Hensley
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wow, in all honesty I thought this was a great piece. It had pretty good vocab and decent flow. The concept of it though, was brilliant. The angles and ways in which you told it were original and well thoguht out....It's a good write for real, keep it up...hit up some of my OM's too if ya have time :)
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This Piece was shown some good science. It had an amazing, and an eye catching imagry. i felt the emotion thats why this piece was more of a poetic tone then a flowing tone. Also i felt your vocabulary could've been better, but you did have a nice structure, and some good placed rhyme skemes. Keep droping the science famz
*chek the sig*OM
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don't see an OM in your sig ..but yea, thanks.
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this was a nice piece cry. it had an original topic and it was original all the way thru. u had sum nice metaphors n here which i love. metaphors show that u have intelligence. u also had sum nice wordplay in there. ur diction and emotion were good also. overall this was a reall good piece
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