A Phreestyle

Its Phree,
with the spirit to hear it
gotta be near it to be a part
leave ya heart vearin to sore the chart
master peices, mass diseases that passed by jesus
hopin to be releasin the newest cure for the worst beliefs which
send terror crashin and burnin, havin it hurtin the massive diversions
sendin bush back to be nervous.
I never dreamed a havin tempered seeds..
travel through ene-mies, that havin beef
this is the saddest scene, havin me sit to give splatter breeds
a new acadamy for the baddest beings
i leave a wicked script of the sickest shit
have it tye a faggot down just to be into it
make him feel the spit till he kneelin split
heal him quick with rejuvination tactics, to be the realest trick
i send people to suicidal events
make em evil to brutal trials of trench.. soon ill be the best

this was a lil short to be a " freestyle ", unless its jus a verse u did to a song but im guessin u intended it to be off the top... nevertheless ur rhyme scheme was decent ... word play was nice, structure could be worked on despite it being a freestyle, i felt some emotion reading this piece i think u could of went deeper into this and made it alot more better, not saying its garbage, jus can be touched up a bit more or went a bit farther into this subject, i would of thrown some more metaphors in there to would of helped the flow alot ... decent drop

On the real this was wack yo, Needa elevate your game. Work on your flow strucutre rhyme scheme multis and about everything else. Just keep spittin only way to get better tho, Peace Easy...

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send terror crashin and burnin, havin it hurtin the massive diversions

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^^Thought that was pretty cool.

i think its definitely better than average, or at least what i seen on other websites. the rhymes in the first part are tight as far as flow goes. might be stupid to say but lines like this tell me that you have some definite skill:

master peices, mass diseases that passed by jesus

your not just fillin your quota of lines with shit like that, its got meaning and it sets up the next line real well, so definitely props for this one.

This can be moulded into a better piece and you could be molded into a better writer. I reckon if you dropped knowledge like you did in parts this could have been a much better piece. Plus a good dose of imagery would help also as i reckon description, personification and metaphors can really vividise...boost a piece. I liked the bare bare essence of this but your trying to go for a too much hippity hop outlook on this i reckon once you spend a lil bit of time in Rapbattles you'll understand more about topical styles and then you'll be ready to elevate and evolve into what i believe a btter writer. Stay up^.

This could be good, and I have to say I did like a couple of the lines in here. But for the most of it, I was bored, and wasn't feeling anything you said. Sorry dude but I'm just being honest, I can see potential, but I think you have a long way to go until you relaise that potential. But you should start writing topicals, or poetry, seriously dude. I know you probably didn't come on to this site to write poetry, you probably fancy yourself as an emcee or whatever, but poetry can really help you elevate with your lyrics. So goodluck in your elevation, I'll be watching to see how you progress.

I appreciate the feedback.. Ill take it in to use for next time.. good looks