-
In Memory of Peter Piper
Peter Piper
Revolving on earth’s axis, my axe is hanging in the shed
Blood stains, of past pains, and the chunks of Peters head
He deserved it, so he got served death, took his breath
Shook the rest of the small town, with its profound meth
Peter thought that his endeavor would work in his favor
His name did come to fame, in the obituaries of newspapers
Screw me over? Ended up screwing your grave shut
Flew high in the sky, as you see how deep you had cut
Thought you could hurt me, you fought for your life
Brought all you could offer to fight, and you died that night
Don’t need to mention, all of the tension that we had
I destroyed the real burden, and somehow the towns mad
Peters Peppers
Peter had his peppers, like birds feathers, stuck to him
Leader of a group, who grouped together to the end
Peppers is a synonym, he picked them, to get rid of them
Sick of them, stick a pin in his brain stem, with no condemn
Peter had the power, to devour, those who he felt ashamed
His name, so his cult, by no meanings their fault inflamed
In gulfs of literacy, not so literal, branding victims chest
The label of an indescribable, describing Peters the best
Peter ended up crossing me, rendered the remorse of village
Village took his side, for a free ride, cult and town pillaged
But, Peter being left alone, to his own, I will always dread
Instead of a choppy fate, my axe would’ve dug right into his head
As I clean, my axe, of mean Peter’s blood, I sometimes ask
Where did all Peter peppers come from, and where are they at?
“Run for fun, Mother…decaying as I lay dead, physically, mystically, I wondered would my kill create thunder down under…Peter if you hear me now, wow, I never dreamed of the day, that my crafty way would make you pay, and lay six feet below, but the toll of your greed for peppers, as Mother displayed, her need portrayed, dislocated, wish you made it, giving our own Mother abuse, Peter that’s what happens when your peppers took over your love for Mother Goose”
-
-
-
-
-
pretty nice.
I'll leave more feed later.
-
pfft. this definitely deserves more thant that. lol. difnitely rookie of the month, or maybe more... anyways.. your flow was consistant throughout the entire piece, strung along with some inners, that rhyme d perfectly, the way you opened it was expert, and the entire concept of working in childrens tales was nice.. the only thing i didnt really like, was the format, a little hard to read.. anyway, rotm.. good job
-
-
-
-
i like that shit, lol. i was thinkin of makin a rhyme about mother goose at one time...alooooot of things rhyme with 'goose' so i figure it will be easy when i get around to it. lol. DONT BITE MY IDEA THO MAN.
-mE
-
you opened nicely and finished strong sometimes thats the hardest thing to do is open nicely and finish strong with a message on the back of others people heads sayin your here and you aint joking an you elevating dude nice job in this consistant flow and content in this is just WOW!...vocanb was set nicely and the way you set yourself up for multies and metaphors showed well that you knew what you were doing and that you knew you what your saying and not just tryna rhyme.... nice dude. creative!.
RTF if so.link in the sig
-
Its so brillant, I'll try not to.
up.
-
-
i don't get it. to me, it was a moderately well flowing verse about a story that to me didnt make sense. Why Peter Pepper? and what were his Peppers. You should have played more off the nursery rhyme than just taking the name - unless you did and i'm dumber than i thought. I mean, Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater would be a more justifiable murder for the way he treated his wife, i just don't think i got the purpose of the story other than to show that you have an ability to rhyme. some people sacrifice content for rhyming and i think that was part of the case here, just not a well thought out story line. try to balance both. keep up.
-f.falling
