unsure of this....

unsure of this...


unsure of this...
love, the feeling i get
the same love that taps on my shoulder at night
leaving me in shivers after a single kiss
flustering my brows with depth in emotion
the same that love wakes me when the sun hugs the earth.

unsure of this...
love, that creeps up at night
the same love the whispers i love you everyday
leaving me in a glow of happiness
flustering astonishing with great depth in devotion
the same love that weakens me with a touch.

unsure of this...
love, that creates an enviroment
the same love that gathers others to celebrate
leaving me in a warmth habitat
flustering beauty across from you essence
the same love that derails hate from your sultry appearance

unsure of this...
love, after 5 months alone
the same love you died for in a contraversy
leaving me in tears trickling down
flustering in a commitment with no other to love
the same love i keep within my heart, as i walk on your behalf.

damn thats moving...the atmospher absorbs the reader...
an entices the reader's desire to figure out what it is about love ur unsure of...its sad yet so inviting...the structures very nice...
looking forward for more reads from u...

even though it dont rhyme its captivating...
oh yeauh who is this poem baised on??
obviously a loved one, but who??

this was about my ex who passed away actually saving me and about my uncle aswell i blended the verse to mean both way's.

my ex passed away when i was driving and a shootout happened and she saw a guy aim for me and she hugged me and and told me she loves me and a bullet pierced her on the back and was stopped by her vertabrea and my uncle passed away yesterday due to cancer. so yea...i have been alone for 2 years now with no other lover....the only one i love is my daughter who my ex..the one who passed away gave birth to..

please people let me get some feed.

wow madly slept on...thanks!.

i thought you came creative on structure,the emotion again you nailed it dude which is very important,the imagery was solide this time around as well, could of been alittle longer however....never want to cut off a piece short expesially if theres alot more to get into and talk about, but who am i to say like you said this was about and ex girlfriend who passed away so i cant really judge in that manner, but very nice read you are improving alot...keep at it my dude;)

well there is a part two...this was a mic of my ex and my uncle......swagger between both ya know!...thanks!

Bump .

I really liked the last line. Overall I thought this was a nice poem, the repetition of the first 2 lines in each stanza was nicely done...emotion ran high....and also your wordchoice was nicely done....read smoothly...a nice short meaningful drop...good job Clisk

Nice peice,

The wording was nice. very mature and deep. the flow was smooth and straight. The story you had here was very nice. I liked it. I flet that you're emotions was very deep and showe a point. The structre was basic and made it easy to read (Good thing). Keep writing man. Theres a reason you were in the Poetic Tourney. And it cuz you can write.

~Blind.

thanks for the feed....appreciate it!.

Well, your steadily getting better. As Laur. said, I took a liking towards the repetition of the Unsure of this.... and then the 2nd line would kind of personify love. That is good stuff right there, but you could have made it deeper with stronger diction. Really could have brought out a more powerful poem if you would have done that. The methaphors could use some work, they were very blunt and dull at times...

But I am not here to only criticize... so just take in mind what I complimented.. I liked this, kinda, =P ...... the whole topic is one that is used, used again, and reused again so, unless it's drop dead amazing, it probably won't stick out from the others you know?

But keep writing, there is hope in you still.

thank you..lmfao at you saying hope..

Closed- Three poems open. Read the rules man, you should know better by now.

-Poeta.