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Hip-Hop Mentality
Short peice, I hope you understand it
Drinking on the street, the beat, vibrates at my feet
As I’m taking a seat, the emcees, storm in a fleet
Annihilate the stage, with desire and mental rage
determined to write I put this fiery pen, to page
Release my pent-up rage, I’m free from this cage
Flee from the pain, by no means weak in the brain
I will make sure, people will be speaking my name
‘you’re freaking insane’ this really isn’t a game
If you don’t like what I say, then I’ll say it again
I’ve been nice for too long, I aint re-writing this shit
If you don’t like it, go put a fucking knife to your wrist
Hip-hop is my life, so no different life can co-exist
I’m growing pissed, stay clear or I’ll start throwing fists
I destroy you with my beat, I outclass you in every way
So bitch behave, or I’ll make a diss and call you gay
I make people kill, but I also inspire legendary melodies
Because I’m the world famous….Hip-Hop Mentality
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ooo dunno what to say...i liked it...i liked the multies...
would have been better if you added more onto it instead
of making it such a short short peice...but i dont have anything
negative to say about it...or any tips...cuz u was the one to help
get me started lol...but yea like i said...loved it
hit this battle up for me
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...3&page=1&pp=15
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This was a solid Joint Brother...i enjoyed the Read....You Have no complaints from me.I'm not one of these picky Cats that be on the BITCHING movement...lol
GOOD POST!
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try not to repeat words too close to eachother.... like rage sometimes it works but its relly tricky... but on the otherhand this was a nice peice... ive seen plenty done on the same topic, so it was not all that creative... but you put a good vioce on it here and pulled out some originalioty in your style... good work here.
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I didn't like the end too much which kind of put a sour note on it for me, Witness., with the whole Mentaility rhyming with Melodies thing... Wasn't feeling that. This had some very good internal rhyme schemes in the beginning, it didn't start particularly strong though, it just never made me say 'wow'. and I'm accustomed to more of an inspired effort from you content-wise, i think.
Maybe you're talking to someone about a situation I just don't know about, here. In any case, Stay up, i just wasn't as on board with this one as with some of your other pieces.
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Damn homie its been a while since I read somethin from you but this was good.You had good use of your multis in this piece.And the depth of the Imagry was really good in this piece.You had a good structure.And the vocabulary you used in this piece was really good and it really amazed me.But on the real I had to read it like 3 times before I actually got the point of the piece lol but you did good on this.Overall you did real good on this piece and I hope to see more from you homie.And when you get a chance hit up the link in my sig with some helpful advice.Keep up the good work homie. :2thumb:
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I was feelin this piece..... the multies were hot and the structure was aight too.
this was an all around tight piece
