Oracle's Whimper

The Oracle's Whimper


http://socrates.clarke.edu/del_4_ru.jpg

In the lone night sky a pale moon,but a rich light reflected
Grand reseemblence of her past which was slight neglection
The eyes of God gaze down with the look of blind conviction
Oracle only visioned blank words worth inscripted less diction
Escaping any impeech meant of power by the juristiction
Nothing to say in the essential time to cure the Christians
She was the hope to determine anything uncanny-effortless
Also here cry's of the lost power took away her decisiveness
In the hook and blade of which was used to cut the throat
Of millions of demons,Not wanting to believe reguarding loath
Discarding hope as an option it was when she lost belief
In a sea of blood was formed a reef,still no clinch of relief
Now as she cries and pleads- falling to an immortals feet
Betrayed by her own family including a disloyal preist
Lies built,the truth was hid along the long filthy road
Tears,rolled down the cheek-on to her long silky robe
Agonizing through her life and writing in her diary
The Oracle's page of whispers organized silently
In her roots she expanded insculping names in heart
Cutting through veins blood gushing in the pagan art
In the assumption of death she reached her final temper
Soon after she slit her tender wrist-and death as the infer
.

Oracle's Whimper

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=306907

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=307189

WAIT A MINUTE!.....:

In the hook and blade of which was used to cut the throat
Of millions of demons,Not wanting to believe reguarding loath
Discarding hope as an option it was when she lost belief
In a sea of blood was formed a reef,still no clinch of relief
BY ORFENTIC/\

Bro...This is an Incredible piece...i mean really.....I see your vision here....I mean I haven't seen anyone on this type of topic...Well....Not in this manner I should say..
i have no complaints at all....

Great work...i look forward to reading others!!!!

31 views 1 person leaves feed? sad. uppin and thank you very much I very well appreciate you being the only one to feed on my peice and others look and don't say anything,which is so disrespectful,once again I thank you.

upp

yo, orfentik
thats some good work man... i like that alot... big upps

I wasn't feeling this so much. You didn't set the tone up well enough and your writers voice is all over the place. I liked a few lines towards the end there, but for the most part this just didn;t gel for me. The scheme was bad man, not only predictable but very choppy. This could have been fluid and had better transitions, I would have done some things differntly. I just couldn't get into this, it nevfer flowed for me in he read. Never deleoped and outside of the complex mettas, there was ntohing forme to really sink my teeth into... I'll keep peeping..

Thanx.