-
The 7 Sins: Sloth
The 7 Sins: Sloth
http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/7...hactivehd0.jpg
“Sloth is not a virtue, Sam”
Boons of wilted willows rake around the house
That houses the malign man steady in sleep
Cockroaches devoured by the untamed mouse
That steadily scuttles up Uncle Sam’s knees
Clothes scattered across the dusty landing
His ex-wife left home, was she too demanding
Couldn’t understand the laziness of Sam’s Life
Last years food remains, still greased on the knife
“Why bother, there’s always tomorrow”
“Why sweat the work when there’s another day
Don’t really believe hard work means hard play
I can soak the clothes and clean the dishes
Still but swimming so why bother feed the fishes
I see the food crumpled before me, please let it be
Why refurbish the carpet soaks up the wine easily
Is that a warning, no I remember going to work
Open the light someone, the rooms full with murk
Now I’ve talked enough, I really deserve some rest
Go away let me be, stop being such a slothy pest”
“Today’s Highlights”
Last night a thunder struck a house a blaze
It was surrounded by such flammable dirt
The windows glazed & the fire grew fast
Unluckily, there was one lone man hurt
He was injured by the occurring gas blast
He died not of burns but of a leg cast
Which he was to lazy to remove then
And the germs ate away through the linen
Therefore it wasn’t the fire but the pests
Dirt breeds dirt & Sloth breeds a slow death
http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/6240/slothjk1.jpg
RIP Uncle Sam Sloth
We will let you be
-
-
u rollin hot.ha
see ill read em together now.ha
1
-
-
Well I already read this when you PM'ed it to me and I liked this a lot. The imagery and descriptiveness was really good. You described this guys life very well and made me feel as if I was living there with him. The vocabulary was really good, you didn't overdue it but it was far from basic. Like always your flow was great, in this first part there were a couple awkward lines but then you picked it up. Their weren't that many metaphores in this piece but you didn't need em cuz you describes everything really well. Hope you post ours up soon :o peace
-
-
-
I must say that when you started this it was a bit boring but you seemed to pick it up in the second paragraph the flow of this was steady throughout your piece and storyline was god but i did feel that it was too short and there was alot of emotion which was good but a certain lack of imagery either way this piece was cool man i love forward to reading more in the future
-
coolio, i know i haven't used much metaphors i'v relied on the description aspect of imagery na mean.
-
nice peice i see what u mean wit the imagry now dope shit
-
Again another good piece here homie...the same style as the last two but still unique...Your vocabulary was good and wordplay was top notch...your precision again as in the last two pieces were perfect everything in the right places...The emotion in this was good throughout the piece you did well to maintain it...and the parts were you could get imagery was good but there wasnt that much imagery in it lol...In the 3 pieces you have done i havent really seen anything basic which is good :thumbup:...This piece was loaded with everything and your descriptoion was great also...and last but not least lol your flow was tight and this enabled to piece to be read whiskly and easily...Overall another good piece look forward to the next piece...Stay up.
-
thanks, you won't need to wait long the next ones about to go up as well lol.
-
shhhit nice fuckin drop pak deff one of ur best ive read...possibly one of the best ive read period....this was creative as fuck jus like the last one..and after reading the other...i was fully intrested in this....flow was on point thru out the whole drop...multies were there...u shouldve collabed with ferocity for that lol hes the multie king but...yea this was very impressvie...keep up man...
-
Vortex is the multie king lol...but no doubt i appreciate the comments.
-
DAMN pak this was really nice to read at first i was like damn this shit is intresting and i started reading it and loved it mann it was really nice i like how you made this very descriptive and you used alot of complex vocabulary mann this piece was very very unique i like how you had all the consisty thourgh the piece and how it all connnected from one piece to another nice drop bra i really like it mann keep your pen irratatin against the paper
