Ocean Waves: And The Death I Caused

Splash

Splash

Splash

Splash

Splash

The breeze. The freeze. The evening tease
The waves that flow. Something new to please
Fish swimming back and forth like flowers in a field
A See turtle lays low using his hard shell as a shield
Sharks dueling it out. Like a everyday bar fight
Dolphin sleep through day. Hunt and play all night
Weeds tangle up fish and rocks move in the sand
Crabs crawl onto land and swimmers try to stand
Submarines soar under the water as fish swim away
Whales swimming around and baby starfish start to play

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

Shatter

Billy walks on a log. Trips and has a great fall
Billy is dead now..gone to his family. Remembered by all
He walked the smooth beaches of the Ocean view
Billy we miss you. And your mentality situation too
He wanted to feel that breeze. Now he's in a grave
Guess the ocean didnt like how he behaved.
Died with that permenant smile. The ocean took him from us
He must have slipped on its anger and lost all his focus
Billy remember that you are in our hearts forever
Only if your dumbass was alot more clever

http://www.tcfnoshore-boston.org/Images/Ocean.jpg

The ocean may be beautiful, But Billy was much to young.

The Seven Sins By Pakivali

Armagedon By Felocity, Pakivali and Grim Reapa

really nice i was really feelin this drop alot...the flow was really nice and stayed on point through out the whole drop....multies were there and you had lots...this was very creaitve i dont see this done much...strutre was really good and very creaitve and easy to read...vocab was nice...you had a good choice in words which is my weakest aspect.. and the word play wit nice with the flow...and the way u added in the pic was also very creaitve...hit up my new om if u can thanks keep up homie...

If you like it so much hoe bout Nomination? :) And will hit that now.

Up :2thumb:

I liked this, nice and slow moving and the structure was quite good to. I liked the simplistic appraoch to this though your vocabulary wasn't great, but that can be easily disregarded as i quite enjoyed reading this.Furthermore, i liked the switch of style in the 2nd verse as the voice of the piece was more direct now, definantly a more poetic style. Overall, this was a good piece with a good ending, the verbal abuse fitted in nicely with the overall tone set. Stay up

Check this linkage na mean
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=306927

I hit up that link for ya. I'll drop better feed later. Sorry man tired and got alot on my mind. If its really good please feel free to nominate.

Ups and downs.

Not bad not bad... the theme was alright. I wasnt feelin it that much but I can tell you're a decent writer. Keep it up.

lol. THat was some bad fed. El Poeta isnt gonna be happy.

nice peice i liked the fact that you just came out with it directly now overlly complex scheme so the simplistic factor of it all was nice an easy read which i enjoyed the topic was original the whole simple thing went along with it the flow matched the story almost seemed suttelly change up which was cool so good peice stay up
leave feed on my om never changes

ok.

ups.

ROFLMAO.

What was this dude? This was bad.

"Billy walked on a log and had a great fall?"

That was the most bland line I had read in a while. Bad piece, no emotion and too simple from you. A lot of spelling and grammatical errors in this, and just childish at the most. I expected better, but this piece was, eh - no. You try to write like other people , but it's not working out for you.