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Struggling
Walking towards my life's goal, till I scream and I'm crawling
Can't continue on this road, everyday my dreams are abolished
Don't comprehend why they shine & are gettin' acknowledged
While I'm workin' twice as hard, & stress I aint polished
Every morning's atrocious, percieve I've awakened in hell
No ones made me a road to follow, I've had to pave it myself
Life's a sacrifice, & I won't be explorin' these dreams
I'm not cared for, they've had my goal torn by the seems
False ideas beat me down, & almost bring the trigger in
As opinions spread like wildfire, & each thought is ignorant
No one sees I'm strugglin, my next action's another sin
Collapsed from the challenge, satan's went and done me in
The expectations are too great, I've rose the bar too much
Pressure has fucked my thoughts & put me far from touch
I've lost hope, till I recognize my heart's cemented
Targeted the goal & helped revive my charred intentions
Brush myself off, dash for someone to examine my health
Its obvious now, the person needed is the man in myself
Finally abandon my troubles, & I'm done with this race
Uplifted spirit, as satisfaction runs through my veins
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i know links r comin so
welll i liked ur flow it was good u had a creative thyme skeme also.....it was intreaging...your vocab was nice to...well this was a pretty good om...not the best but good...i liked the topic and u pulled it in to a deep though and u gave a good imaginary picture that came with ur verse....so keep it up...
rtf in sig
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Agreed, you had a nice flow..your rhymescheme was pretty good...but sometimes you let it wonder..and that produced some bad wording (which is all good....cuz i have the same problem) your vocab was not bad..coudl of used some different words to give it a bit of spice..nothing to serious imo. Imagery lacked a bit...i think if u can tie in good emotion with imagery..you can make a reader forget about ur technical writing...u had some ok emotion..and some ok imagery...and ur tech writing..was ok...overall it was a pretty good piece, that was up'd by ur flow.
good work..keep up.
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