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He
Left alone was all he ever wanted to be,a peaceful day to see
he's surrounded by souls hollow and hearts ...so empty
he was was picked on for being difffrent labeled strange by some
..he wishes he had the guts.. to strangle just one
his courage is mangled and done,cofidence dipleted
...maybe a little more love needed
....or simply someone who understands
that inn like he i always dealt the underhand
in life never able to get ahead
and now he is tired of tring rather just drop dead
hes hanging by a thread too many words ..unsaid
his mind is in pain from living with nothing to gain
hes ready to burn in eternal flames
and left alone was all he ever wanted to be,a peaceful day to see
now hes enslaved by his enemys who's souls are hollow and hearts empty
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303392
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303472
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...58#post4779358
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damn you sll stop reading about the fucking teddy bear and red thiz shiz niz biz piz giz jiz siz fiz tiz up
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If I understood this, it was about an outcast that was pissed about how he was treated.
The piece was decent, coulda had some multis . I liked the concept, but the piece simple. Think of it as being a good story, but you could've told it better Work on complexity and multis.
I'd give it a 6/10
Keep elevating
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"Rules & Lessons in Feedback<< LINK.
I HAVE TO BE HARSH ON YOU ALL NOW.
READ THE RULES.
CLOSED.
Reason: Shit Feedback..
-Brix."