Rabbit Hole

morpheus:this is your last chance
this is your last chance
this is your last chance
this is your last chance

follow me down the rabbit~hole
and ll show you savage~raw
combatants~fall to the emerald dreamer
prepare to leave earth to become forever eternal
enter the red wormhole and walk throught the infernal
ring~of~fire to train wit the king~of~fighters
think desires, holographic
keep it steady not~so~rapid
macho~madman auto~trapped~in
wit combos~smashin action
about to begin just~begun
just~me~son bob and weave
oxygen breathe, believe punnie~mortal
abusen~force~fields
losen~more~skill to ya born~will
breaking~down around the 18th~round
take~heed~now fake~me~out how
there is no style just a product child
running wild

morpheus:this is your last chance
this is your last chance
this is your last chance
this is your last chance

dont back~out you know that ~route
leads no~where go~where your heart~guides
locked and loaded fully armed~mics
splattered imagery truely bizzare~site
battlen under the stars~nights
wit knives fighting in sets~of~fives threat~to~lives
forgive me as i correct~you~guys behind neptune~lies
my space~base, face~waste and devastation
red pill medication , education placen
importance on freeing your mind
decide now cant wait
no more time to procrastinate
hop in and crash~the~gate
grasp~ya~fate and lacerate
from liquid acid as~it~drips
causen massive~trips
open ya eyes and at last~witness
the perfection of ya past~glitches
bait ya hook or throw out ya net an catch~fishes

morpheus:this is your last chance
this is your last chance
this is your last chance
this is your last chance

raps~vicious gats clap~bitches
nothing has diminished, just transformation
from optimus prime transportation

optimus prime: give it up megatron

at last were changen,awakening
from a dream~so~real ya need~no~film
to indeed~flow~ill seal my eyes~open
and help me rebuild the white~snowman
wit charcoal~eyes~glowing
take a gamble wit sparkeled~dice
bring ya people remarkable~rhymes
after~the~journey
have~your~attorney
document not lock~you~if
you independent and you ventin for fresh~air
lay me to rest~here ll return to you next~year
hip hop blessed~pure the best~here
ll see you all next~year
straight out the gate
escape the matrix dont say~this
wasnt fo real it always was hot
ll see you when i bring the onslaught
yeah

morpheus:this is your last chance
this is your last chance
this is your last chance
this is your last chance
this is your last chance after this there is no
turning back you take the blue pill the story
ends, you wake up in your bed and beleive
what ever you want to beleive, you take
the red pill you stay in wonderland and i show you
how deep the rabbit hole go's

This was ok, I don't think you've been rappin' too long. You have some good multis, but some had nothing to do with the piece and were just there for show. The rest was simple. The topic was like some robot shit, which I hated. Write about something that's important to you. Also, quality over quantity. It's better to have a short complex piece, than a long simple piece.

Keep elevating

not very good at all....
many flaws...
your flow was ok but still off alot...not alot of shit rhymed...
multies sucked....
strutre sucked work on that take out ~~ and tha hooks thats wack homie...
but alot of this was off by alot...but ur elevating like my self...i jus give true feed...
ive seen alot better on this site..and i think we should battle to brush up our skills
but if u have time could u hit up my new drop thanks if u do..
keep up...

Eh, alright in someways, but just bad in others. I mean the concept was a little creative, even though you borrowed it from the Matrix, and that really didn't seem original for me. Also, the structure was played, dude. Stop using all those symbols, and whatnot to bring out your piece.

As I seed, creative, yet bad.