LeX VS Soulstice (Poetry)

Topic: Broken Conception
Due: Midnight Tonight
20 lines
G'Luck homie.

By the way its 500 to vote so becarefull lil people :). G'Luck man.

in......................

She was a beauty, subjugated in the fortress of authority
He was a country boy, with a heart of valor and candor
She saw the peasents, working in ovens under a cloudless azure airscape
He was a peasent, planting a living in faulty soil, fertilizing it with prayers
She was out on a stroll with a million steeds and forty foreign bachelors
He was on the side, clapping like horizontal puppet string movements
She was smiling at her father's mannequins, seldom knowing they were real
He was searching for beautiful alignment with the optics
She rebuffed the offer and continued with the sons of royal ventricles
He knew when he had lost and put on a morose mask with weeping horns
She dreamed of the best day of her life, with the bachelors loving her
She had a nightmare too, with the valiant boy by her side
She awoke, and realized fear in her dreamscape was all too beautiful
He forgot it, he brainwashed himself with thoughts of noose halo's
He saw her again, her vermillion hair swaying in the wind
He denied to the hypnotist's techniques, the sun reflecting off her locks
She abstained the bachelors massive diamonds gifts of harmony
He saw her act of desperation, as
she walked toward him...
He denied her.. his Broken Conception of women bathing in luxury he figured she would never want him for real

Complete insanity, Complete shock
A chosen glamedy, mysterious block
Opening oblivion, closing heavens gate
Looking above him, Broken Conception of great
Sinful meanings, Arial reanimation
Painful Beatings, ground discrimination
Fate of millions, Harmful dreams
Down fall of sins, darkened screams
Broken Conception, Blackened lines
Awoken Deception, broken spines
Demon roars, And Angel Cries
Falling Floors, Devils Demise
Kill me, See the end of Earth
Seal meat, Jesus is at birth
Dead trails, Open details
Blood strails, men derailed
Crash and burn, dont breeth
You need to learn, how to leave
Leaving a flower, for the whole miss
Rest In Peace, my brother Soulstice

1....

Lex-Good imagery I feel this Poem was okay at best just feel that the passion wasn't all the way there all though you have a nack for making the concept vivid enough to be sharp thats good.

Soul.-Well You did pretty good I like it nice imagery just all around a nice little piece it's not your best I can tell you posess much more than that but still pretty good at points you may have slipped like in the middle a bit and some towards the climax stil good man...


V/Soul....nice battle here he just had a better take.

i thought soul took this battle. His peice had more imegrey and detial in it. Painted more of a vivid picture in my head then lex did. Lex your peice was ok but I thought you could have done better with it and put more detail into it. Soul good job.

v/soulstice (better verse)

Both pieces were nice...both had good imagery and emotion and detail in their pieces....i thought that lexs could have been better but soulstice's verse put a great image in your head with almost every line which won it for him for me....vote//soulstice.

^^ Polling it...

v//soul

His verse was better overall and it still seemed me that he didn't put much of an effort into it.It was not my best I have seen from you but it was good none the less.Lex your piece was iight just lacked in creativity and you could have worked on a lot of elements.Soul was more creative and had the more enjoyable verse

It's not i didnt try.. jus wanted a maybe original take on the topic

up 2

this was an aight battle, both writers tried but yeah Soul had a verse a couple of notches above Leximus's. Basically, to me poetry isn't the easy route out of topicals but thats what i see you doing Lex, try coming up with more creativity and splendour with imagery that awes the reader. I liked how Soul showed 2 facets of the story at one time, pretty good....\/ Soul for a more creative and more polished verse.