Symphony of Destruction

I'm doing something that god doesn’t strive me to be,
I've lost two main parts of me, and I need it back badly,
wounded and not feeling so complete, oh this agony
I can't bear it anymore, facing defeat and this awful sanity.
"You’re dead to me" tears stream down my ample cheeks,
Tasting the salt and aching the quote makes my soul weak.
I'm dehydrating myself from my mother, the creator of thee
won't kiss my wounds cause I've been bit by the devils teeth
"You've been abducted,” but in my heart I still do believe
In my father. My real father, the other part of me, rests in peace.
Laying sleep in his grave-6ft deep, "Your father was a preacher"
I do hold the 'voice' in my vocals One of his common features
so why now I can't use it to make my mother understand that,
I am whatever I choose to be, not a caged animal or a black cat
that’s trapped inside her soul, scratching off pieces in thin lines,
I'm too far behind and the clock is ticking I won't reach her in time.
So I'm taking the shortcut, three of us naked, the lust mist
Sensation is in the air and the bond begins with a famine soft kiss.
Muscle arms groping around my waist, tight as a knot rope,
I want this feeling back again, mother and father, "I love you both

The seed is planted, my firm soul skin is on top of her,
Kissing her lips then her Bermuda triangle shave less fur.
she moans with excitement, exhaling great luxuria mist,
the other watches, while she moves those hips, it twists
her mind, I can feel the pores of sex releasing thru her skin,
I push the limit. I reign in her cave, it’s so wet within,
start as a drizzle and then pick it up, I reign in her more faster,
She moans louder now, urging me to give her the disaster.
I do, she tastes it, swallows, and now the seed has bloom,
too many pedals were on our stem and we told her "don't have room"

How can this be, the planning was so pure,
I thought I could see through it and was so sure
That nothing would stop the love and lust flow.
I was on top before now I'm being pushed too below,
with my sorrows, I was a fool that I can create my parents,
By turning Bi. Damn I miss that love, now its full absence.
I picked out the instruments, created my own tunes,
Controlling thier lust is what lead to my rightful doom.

links are needed.

Is this an OM about having sex with your mother or recreating your parents through sexual intercourse with another man, or woman? I'm very confused in this piece, not a whole lot was made clear, although it was very descriptive I've never been so vexed by an OM in my life. Everything seemed in place though, multis, meta's, vocab was quite nice within this piece as well. Your flow from line to line seemed a bit off in certain places, but all else was well. I'm just saying, you could have made your intentions for this piece a bit more clear. Other than that, nice piece. Keep Writing. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Es.Choir

Is this an OM about having sex with your mother or recreating your parents through sexual intercourse with another man, or woman? I'm very confused in this piece, not a whole lot was made clear, although it was very descriptive I've never been so vexed by an OM in my life. Everything seemed in place though, multis, meta's, vocab was quite nice within this piece as well. Your flow from line to line seemed a bit off in certain places, but all else was well. I'm just saying, you could have made your intentions for this piece a bit more clear. Other than that, nice piece. Keep Writing. :)

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Yah, you right.

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...41#post4820541

Bump.

wow this was just fukced up. aaahh but it was still so sick..ahaha i loved it man. the flow was tight it seemed a bit off in some places but then again it was still prettty tight throughout most of it, the the vocabulary was tight, the overall structure was kept even throughout the piece and its not a relief it did, it still woulda been dope if it wasnt straight. the originality was awesome an strange at the same time so it made it for a better read. keep these comin man, you goona be really dope.

-Peace

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...21#post4820821

Thanks.

This was wierd a bit like the oeidipus complex but with the dad as well =/....I didn't like the topic as i'm not much into incestful topics unless it was metaphored that this child was trying to become a parent and was also trying to fulfill the role of a mother and father thus not really having sexual relations with the parents but with people whom he believes symbolise the parents. The topic was original i have to admit and i liked the way the words flowed however it wasn't as smooth as it could have been, rythm terms. The vocabulary was used wisely and gave a sense of inteliggence whilst allowing the reader to understand the meanings. Lastly, i reckon overall this was a good original piece, so yeah keep dropping and striving to evolve.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pakaveli

This was wierd a bit like the oeidipus complex but with the dad as well =/....I didn't like the topic as i'm not much into incestful topics unless it was metaphored that this child was trying to become a parent and was also trying to fulfill the role of a mother and father thus not really having sexual relations with the parents but with people whom he believes symbolise the parents. The topic was original i have to admit and i liked the way the words flowed however it wasn't as smooth as it could have been, rythm terms. The vocabulary was used wisely and gave a sense of inteliggence whilst allowing the reader to understand the meanings. Lastly, i reckon overall this was a good original piece, so yeah keep dropping and striving to evolve.

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No. Lol. It was about a women who is BI, which she turned BI because she lost that feeling of 'mother' and 'father' love, so she put these two people together that she dearly loved, she watched them have sex, but when it was her turn to jump into the sexually action, they pushed her out, which goes to the ending. Thanks for the feed though. Peace.

Scythe you have a sick mind lol, this was a good read. The wordplay and the structure was Perfect. There was definatley alot of imagery & Emotion in your word's here. You lost consistancy in a few places, but thats alright. The vocabulary was really well rounded as well. Overall i really liked this read.

really nice
i was lovin the wordplay and flow....couldve added some more multies but still was dope..
a very complex piece i must say....alot better than most of the drops i have read...
u kept up the vocab..thru out the whole drop...which really kept me in it...
i didnt really like the font...but if thats your choice not much to complain about lol
u had some really good lines that i really liked...

How can this be, the planning was so pure,
I thought I could see through it and was so sure
That nothing would stop the love and lust flow.
I was on top before now I'm being pushed too below,

really nice keep up man

Thanks yo.

Bumpity BumP bUMP.

sup scythe....

Nice o.m man, you showed really good use of vocabulary and imagery throughout your piece, it did get fairly complex, more so half way through your piece and felt it could of been string'd together better, other than that it was cool, some dude said your flow was off, i have no idea what he was on, it flowed real nice, you used 2 or 3 rhyme schemes in lines at some point and it really made for a better read, good job there. You used nice metaphors aswell, well incorporated with imagery (as stated earlier)

Overall, it was a nice drop man, definatly keep writing, i'd like to see some powerfull deep writing aswell in the future, just my preference lol

This was the part i enjoyed reading most....

"I'm doing something that god doesn’t strive me to be,
I've lost two main parts of me, and I need it back badly,
wounded and not feeling so complete, oh this agony
I can't bear it anymore, facing defeat and this awful sanity.
"You’re dead to me" tears stream down my ample cheeks,
Tasting the salt and aching the quote makes my soul weak.
I'm dehydrating myself from my mother, the creator of thee
won't kiss my wounds cause I've been bit by the devils teeth
"You've been abducted,” but in my heart I still do believe
In my father. My real father, the other part of me, rests in peace.
Laying sleep in his grave-6ft deep, "Your father was a preacher"
I do hold the 'voice' in my vocals One of his common features
so why now I can't use it to make my mother understand that,
I am whatever I choose to be, not a caged animal or a black cat
that’s trapped inside her soul, scratching off pieces in thin lines,
I'm too far behind and the clock is ticking I won't reach her in time.
So I'm taking the shortcut, three of us naked, the lust mist
Sensation is in the air and the bond begins with a famine soft kiss."