Seasons Collide, When I'm With Her

Seasons Collide, When I'm With Her
By: Nash

There is a place ..

.. where shade combines with a fire
as seasons glisten on a horizon
the winter rain clashes with the light
grass grows through the white snow
leaves appear in the autumn
upon dead twigs and burnt brush
hush of silent winds mix with tornadoes
natural disasters are out of their season
for reasons no body in the world knows ..

this place stands tall over a greenery
a greenery of imagry to behold for a lifetime
this place stands small under fall
under fall of imagry no body'd want in sublime
the sweet infamous burden of a wind
breezing across the top of a skin
barely brushing the veins of humanity
borderlined breaching the winds of insanity
it blows through your hair
touches her skin fair ...the butterflys
flutter in the rain, and grow in the sun
peace in all seasons, for reasons unknown
this is the feeling of a loved one you know
the pit of your stomach has a sweet rotting
you may not be able to explain
the name of her feels right in every way
but they say you have this feeling
because its revealing that special someone

There is a place ..

.. where the pit of your stomach has fire
you sit with her in season on a horizon
winter rain patters rooftops,
as the bedroom creates the heat
peace grows through white snow
and it also appears in the autumn
upon those dead twigs and burnt brush
silent breaths overlaps our arguing
and arguing seems pointless in all seasons
for reasons no body in the world knows ..

.. because it only happens, When I'm with her

dopeness man, dopeness..

Well for being your first you show signs of being able to take this further if you put time into it.

Not to offend, the story line was blah, but for some reason I liked how you used the first stanza and then distorted the last stanza so they were alike but totally different. If that makes any sense ;) . You had good imagery, that is something very important to writing. Your vocabulary was good, I had no complaints. But one question.. what is aruging? Did you mean arguing?

All in all I would be proud if this was my first piece. Good writing nashy and collab w/ me sometime and we'll whip you into shape.

1 love.

- Whitey.

chea ..

this was a nice read. i liked the way that the story you were telling never falted the topic, and you kept the seasonal metaphores and imagery in there. the way you went into so much detail.. i captured an almost, i can love again feel from it. this is the epitamy of the poetic vibe that should be expressed more in PS. i dont read much from you but i WILL start reading your work more. good job man.

To begin with, I loved the title and meaning of this piece. The beginning started very well with the..hmm, contradictory statements..out of them I liked this the best:

grass grows through the white snow

Nice imagery, just very poetic and actually impressed me.

barely brushing the veins of humanity
borderlined breaching the winds of insanity
it blows through your hair
touches her skin fair ...the butterflys
flutter in the rain, and grow in the sun
peace in all seasons, for reasons unknown

Was worded very nicely, and the metaphors were written very nicely and weren't forced...The last little stanza was nice, just for some reason wasn't very intruiging to me, but that's my personal opinion. I love how you pretty much described every thing in that lengthy of a description to final off "When I'm with Her"...me and you could collab sometime, I liked what I saw..nice writing, keep it up...

thanks all.

i liked how you use alliteration i don't see it that much ne more but still i love love poems dogg cause they bring out the best in all writers in my mind dope piece

i liked how you started off...you started off well and finished very WELL!. you had nice image and very nice wordings my dude..the sense of writing was unique but the feeling in this was uniqueitself.

this place stands tall over a greenery
a greenery of imagry to behold for a lifetime
this place stands small under fall
under fall of imagry no body'd want in sublime
the sweet infamous burden of a wind
breezing across the top of a skin
barely brushing the veins of humanity
borderlined breaching the winds of insanity
it blows through your hair
touches her skin fair ...the butterflys
flutter in the rain, and grow in the sun
peace in all seasons, for reasons unknown
this is the feeling of a loved one you know
the pit of your stomach has a sweet rotting
you may not be able to explain
the name of her feels right in every way
but they say you have this feeling
because its revealing that special someone
^^
loved this part was great and well done with good perception..

keep writing and thus far you'll reach a peak of mastery!.

thanks