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Dandelions Blue's.
*Strums*
I sit in this room with bloods sprayed on the walls,
Strumming my guitar while My Niagara River Falls,
Feeling the wetness on my cheeks as I make this call
To everyone who’s walking death in heaven hall.
I tap my foot in a rhythmic, for the people heart beat,
Just to flashback the cherish memories that’s been discrete
From the concrete streets and the human flesh minds,
The bind used to be tight and bright, but now we’re blind
Like Ray Charles, we’re looking right inside the darkness,
Black Panthers affiliations is no more a big caucus
*String Pops*
*Strums*
I hear drip drops from the ceiling. Their souls are crying,
My Soul quakes, they’re talking, while my lips quivering.
Clench my fist on the handle of the guitar. Black power,
Gotten so sour, we used to help others but now it’s like “Our”
And “Mine”. We’re losing a lot of pedals everyday,
By heart aches, pain and tears of reign, in addition the hate
All this stuff is clogging the peace system, we can’t flow
Together no more, so the nutrient has stopped, so we can’t grow.
I can’t take this; the stress is peeling my insides like a banana,
There’s no freedom, and we’re clinch so tight in its bandana
*String Pops*
We’re growing so much anxiety and I’m too. “No more strings”,
Along with the whole society, I’m feeling so blue, “No Feelings”
So many of us are like flowers with thorns, love can’t touch us,
Its Like Porn, we fuck our own people with a big hard hate thrust,
Without no protection and we inject Death aids in their souls,
Lungs fold and shoot some white Envy that can leak red holes.
“I can’t express” We’re Burning our own, fuck call us “Jews”
“And I’ll be damn, no more strings, I’ve lost my people and my blues”
*Smashes the Guitar*
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...ch-378x267.png
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303932
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303086
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To be honest, I didn't really even think about the N.O. incident....and you said it was about that. overall the piece is not bad though. I like the wording in the middle stanza, the one that says Strums. The wording there was your best wording in the OM and it was pretty creative. Emotion wasn't felt by me very well, but I did enojy this as a read. Keep writing....you didn't do bad by any means.
-Old Man (link in my sig)
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