Sunday Dinner

Sunday Dinner

http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/blogs/s...vingspread.jpg

Coming home from church, I run upstairs to change my shirt,
Take off my pants and shoes, and start thinking about dessert,
My mouth waters, I hear my mother and father deep in laughter,
I move faster, get downstairs for dessert, my mother says after,
I can feel my taste buds yearning, for the brownie I'm deserving,
My stomach in which I'm concerning, feels empty and is growling,
I walk back upstairs unsatisfied, a small cookie they can't provide,
The room where I reside makes no collateral for the hunger inside,
The aroma arose, tickling the small black bristles within my nose,
I start to feel cold, unbold, knowing that food is a part of my soul,
Fried Chicken, colegreens, macaroni and cheese, I'm just reminiscin',
On last Sundays dinner, I almost hit the ceilin', I could eat for a livin',
Another smell came, almost lifting me off my feet from where I stand,
Then I suddenly acted as a barbarian and started biting on my hand,
I couldn't stand it, the wait made it undearable, I'm losing patience,
My teeth clench, and my body starts to feel tense, I'm losing sense,
I'm about to lose my mind and from all this, I eventually began to cry,
Then my mother called up to me a beautiful one word line, Dinnertime,
I ran downstairs with the utmost joy, this food I will be sure to enjoy,
I ran past the rest of the boys even on my barefeet and corduroys,

Those were the days, and to this day, I give my parents all praise,
What can I say, they fixed us dinner with all the stress, hair gray,
From the month of January to the month of December, I remember,
There was no time better, than sitting with family at Sunday Dinner,

Links
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302616
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302706

this was quite good, there was a lil odd wording here and there but overall i liked it, i like the way you tak=ckle and present your topics.the flow was aight got down in parts but the first person perspective was done very well...~Overall, a goo om...Stay up.

I enjoyed this piece right here. Very portrait in the imaginary section. The character emotion I felt in this Piece. The narrator you've picked/style was very well mastered. Not complex at all, straight up. The tone of this piece was very Much..Energetic, thats just my opinion. Liking the rhyme scheme right hurr..Overall Good Piece. Word.

pretty decent.....enjoyed this piece...worded ok....the flow was good...could improve in multies to spicy ya verse up...very emotional...

overall i liked this piece..


7.5/10

yea, the flow was monotone...but lyrics word good. Good use of the topic, staying on and such, not going on to many tangents...id give a 7.5...good shit homy, holla!

thanx for the feed everybody. Uppin.

uppin for feed.