A New Freestyle

everytime i spit a free i get pumped im gonna start callin myself Reebok Pumps

because my punches likes to elevate like nike shox's new shoes called elevate i can hear em sayin to me is elevate,

and i don't worry about the mc hatin my hits but still my punches give harder and stronger hits,

but if balla steps up on me i'll hit'em so hard that he won't bounce off the flo because my flows will flow him away like the mississippi river as a i flow away,

but people like want to start puttin a diss stupid as shit me makes me wanna take that shit and flush it down my toliet,

but still my game is like the miami heat because heat things up once you just gotten beat,

ain't no motherfuck newbie better then me because they haven't been that point just like me,

but still i wear throw backs cause my favorite playas has got my back,

but still react cash was like in the ring throwin' punches against the rope and make them mc started to back up,

my shit is better when its played out like the 49ers right now because they can't play as better that amazing now,

now the first time i dropped a bar is when i first boutght a 100grand candybar,

man i just 100 grand and a golden bar bitch everybody watch out im rich bitch//

Honestly, this is rubbish.

I don't think I need to go in depth here. You rhymed 'elevate' with 'elevate', not just once, but twice in one line. This just needs a lot of uppin' and improvement. Read some other OM's and get a feel for what good writing is and try to emulate a better style than yours. The good news is, tt will not be very difficult to find that.

Good luck to you if you mean to keep on rapping, but there's a lot of work to be done before you post anything else, man...

yeah...you vocab was choppy and your wordplay was horrible. if u wanna make it, you gotta brush up on ya skills. keep doing yo thang. Best of luck to ya!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lil Drew

everytime i spit a free i get pumped im gonna start callin myself Reebok Pumps

because my punches likes to elevate like nike shox's new shoes called elevate i can hear em sayin to me is elevate,

and i don't worry about the mc hatin my hits but still my punches give harder and stronger hits,

but if balla steps up on me i'll hit'em so hard that he won't bounce off the flo because my flows will flow him away like the mississippi river as a i flow away,

but people like want to start puttin a diss stupid as shit me makes me wanna take that shit and flush it down my toliet,

but still my game is like the miami heat because heat things up once you just gotten beat,

ain't no motherfuck newbie better then me because they haven't been that point just like me,

but still i wear throw backs cause my favorite playas has got my back,

but still react cash was like in the ring throwin' punches against the rope and make them mc started to back up,

my shit is better when its played out like the 49ers right now because they can't play as better that amazing now,

now the first time i dropped a bar is when i first boutght a 100grand candybar,

man i just 100 grand and a golden bar bitch everybody watch out im rich bitch//

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this is on sum camron on crack shit

i gotta hot potatoe i call her hot potatoe
she gave me head while i was eatin on a hot potate

^^u wouldda been better sayin that

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