The Wanderer

The Wanderer
By: Matthew Bonvillion

She is a stunning rose petal, wandering through an oasis
Drifting eternally on us, ephemeral updrafts, passers by
The petal gracefully dances in the wind, symbiosis and nirvana
Only a fleeting moment, the petal soon deserts the updraft
To float on solitarily, through the oasis of continuing misery
Confined by a desert of ominous projections, land unknown
The peal fears venturing into the desert, fears finality
Fears the possible commitment to one eternal resting place
But the petal despairingly suffers from un-blissful ignorance
For in actual reality the desert is very much non-existent
Nothing but a figment designed by the petal’s blind fear
What the petal does not see is a heavenly plane of ecstasy
Hard to reach, but with effort, bearing harmonious being
Thus, the petal is doomed to a dejected living
Wandering perpetually in her fortified oasis
I cannot but empathize with and pray
For the beautiful wanderer….

I liked this poem.. The details were good.. I like the structure in a sense that it is very different from the other writters and that it went together smoothly.. Overll I thought that it was a good drop..

Very nice drop. A very beautifully descriptive way of forwarding emotive technique. The only thing that I didn't really like was the structring. It felt also you very easily could have broken alot of these lines right in half due to the cama use, the read wouldn't have really been all that much different... Although aesthetically I think it would have been more apealing and would have looked a lot more organized. Normally it doesn't matter, but I mean, if you have like 3 cama's to a line than breaking wont hurt the piece... It can only clean up the look. As for the contectual intregrity of the piece though, I really enjoyed this. I really don't have anything to complain about. Hopefully we'll be seeing more of your around here.

i have to just say i liked your detailed and experienced vocab and choice of selective wordings and way of writing i liked it and your image and vision and emotion it dwelled very well and executed to a nice level of bring a nice write and read my dude...though some lines could hve been word'd a lil better but hey whose perfect?!..no one right?!...so word up man

RTF on the first link in my sig