Evil Bitch Of A Step Brother.

Oh snap..
..the slow crack of the seal, will never grow back or be healed
A relapse on the field, of war, makes a "mishap" seem real.
& now the truth's concealed, with all the proof on wheels
Rolling towards the tanks who have their roofs congealed
From the bombs that they feel, is it Islam that they yield?
Why are psalms set in steel? When its qualms that are real.
& these "peace deals" do harm, we've seen it in Vietnam
All the way through to Saddam's land.
A coup goes hand in hand..
..to finally cut loose the noose of the hardly grande.
Ways and means are partly banned.. we see the G8 firmly stand
Neck deep in pearly sands, with their under-use of "early plans".
& still, this touring war-horse hasn't had his journey banned!
The modern pentacle becoming a stirly brand, of unwanted hate
The world could debate till late, but we don't need to wait
"Just stop fucking BOMBING!! For the goodness sake".
Cuz who's seen the looks of fate?
Nobody could forsee - that 2 evil step brothers would intergrate.
& reek with quakes of destruction, driving the junction they're on
Now with broken promises gone,
The world will sit back and watch the demolition of Lebanon.

Don't just fucking watch..

I enjoyed this. The imagery was nice the best line to me was:

Quote:

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Rolling towards the tanks who have their roofs congealed
From the bombs that they feel, is it Islam that they yield?

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That line brought to me a good visual image. The flow lifted this to climax at the end of each line. The wording was nice though it left a bit of pause at times for me but the wordplay was good. The sequence of description really helped the storyline unfold. s a battlefield. Overall Id give like an 8.7

This is one of the few pieces I've read from you. I like how you can incorporate multies into it without throwing away content. This is probably the third piece that uses this storyline well. Meh, I would leave more feed, but I'm sick as hell. Uh, overall this is a good written. I think you could have added a little more just to add the emotion, but no one wants something to go on and on more than energizer. Sorry.. I'll edit later if I have time..

Could you check out one of my pieces in my siggy :)

Nice multies, that's what i like to read....multies and multies i love multies over everything else, the imagry was good and the emotion was ok better then most i've seen don't think i've read one of your drops before but still a very impressive piece nor contents of the topic also good job hope to see your more serious pieces tho

wow really nice piece...

im from haifa, israel so i know what it's like getting bombed all day having to run to bomb shelters...

i could really visualize the whole thing cause i know the feeling firsthand...

last 5 lines were my favorite...

it might sound gay, but in a way the text kind of came to life... 9.5/10

I was feelin' the topic. Flows well. Nothing really jumped out at me. My favorite and least favorite line was...

'& these "peace deals" do harm, we've seen it in Vietnam
All the way through to Saddam's land.
A coup goes hand in hand..."

I understood and definately liked what you were sayin', but the delivery was off...

Overall... 7/10

Fabulous. Used current information, which always means there is quite a bit of strength to be displayed poetically, and you delivered. Ended it very well, you know what is going on, and you are talking about the situation. Also I agree with some others that you used multies well, I thought the beginning was really the very strongest part, it was straight awesome from the start about six lines down until it began to lose a bit for me, but never really surrendered a good scheme nonetheless. I enjoyed this a lot though, I'll look for your next piece...

I enjoyed this piece. Although, i agree with Israel. Never the less, this piece was worded very well and everything flowed smoothly.

Thanks for the replies.

I too disagree with the content here but none the less well written. Enjoyed the components and techniues used. My politics conflict here, but that is besides the point, good job...

A poetic take on current events Brixton. You brought good, but not over the top, multi's and mixed them in with strong vocab and vivid imagery. Sometimes when a writer tackles a political issue the result is a piece of shit but that wasn't the case here. Good work man, i'll keep an eye out for more pieces of yours.

Keep posting.

It was well written for the most part. Delivery/wording was great at most parts, and shaky at some, but that's just a minor flaw. Nice usage of current information to incorporate into an interesting, well thought out, but short piece. Nice to read things that are fresh and insightful at the same time.

Thanks.. back back up.

im feelin this. good imaginery
hit us mo with that kind o shit

peace