Bury Me In Manga

Bury Me In Manga
Escobar Season




Bury me in manga.

Watch as the crimson ink of my thinkerbox bleeds into the page
Margin sopping up my soul in superlative Shonen tales
Life grown in erroneous text boxes, scribbled in boredom
dribble from a morbid mental lapse
the type that results in chicken scratch
and rarely offers more then a little laugh

Get rid of that notion that imagination frees the soul
because i lie silent, trapped in these expression scripts
no exaggerated eyes, i died expressionless
lost in the enormity of life
ignoring me are those who read religously
i'm boring, my role won't suffice
to see another volume, i've been written off

A scarred, disparaged character
trapped in a world of grandeur
a true to self man of candor
caught in the outlandish stature of the text
my peers' word's are too great
their tasks too overwhelming
i'm just a bit player
buried under the stench if the shit's layers
Save me your quick prayers
and whispers of remorse
because i lied, i never died
quit your reminiscing and the sort

In short i was entrenched in falsehoods
while i'm from the suburbs of insubordination
you don't know the coordinance
because it isn't in the table of contents
and your fingers lack the coordination
to find my place of plight
should you catch my page, note that my face is white
absent of the mad magical hues
staining this magazine of life

shed no enlargened tears
leave me out of your credits
i played no role
so it seems you might as well forget it
many have tried and failed
to see the person that i play
but the real me is as plain
as the pages where i lay
so search if you must
perhaps you'll catch a memory
a faded glimpse of the greatest gift
no one could ever see

And well...should you never find me
that would be alright
just be sure to bury me in manga
now that would be the life...


1luv.

I loved the rhythm in this. The creativity was pulled of well. The tone was almost archaic but it was also modern, very strange but I like it. The imagery was absolutely great, you didn't over do it, and you didn't try to stuff every line with some stupid pun like "The silver spoon that feeds the children of death" or some gay shit like that, you kept it to the point and exciting to read. The end is my favorite part, the syllable count and the rhythm is amazing there. Nice work man, glad to have you back.

Thanks a million for the read and feed Sharp, i appreciate your opinion, and i thank you for taking the time out to support me. I have no clue what inspired me to make this my first poem in about 7 months lol but thanks nonetheless for your reply. 1luv.

Damn this concept was creative as hell, you stay with fresh approaches Prince. I agree with Sharp, your references were subtle enough to connect without feeling as if they were jammed in the piece, it was simple and effective, yet deep and profound at the same. The last 2 stanzas were fantastic man, i see you've got your swagger back, you haven't lost a beat man, keep up the good work.

-Fiasco

Well thanks a million for the response, Fiasco, i appreciate you taking the time out to comment and to leave such positive feedback. It feels good to be back, especially with people giving such thorough responses to my work, i truely appreciate it. Elevation is key, 1luv.

Okay first off i would like to say that its good to see you dropping back in here. Your imagery in this was absolutely astounding, the way that you worded every line and didnt over due it was very nice. Your rhythm in this was amazing very smooth in transitions and throughout the whole read. Oh yeah and your emotion wasnt bad either:thumbup: very solid piece from you glad to see you writing again.

That shit was crzy man. i loveed the wordplay you use and the incredible internals and flow. The structre was very good. I loved it. Easy to read. the creativty and imagenary was perfect. I liked the story you used alot. It made a cartoon in my head. Which is very easy yet cool to do to me. 10-10. Keep it up and I believe I will nominate this peice. :)

~LeX

Thank you so much Leximus, i appreciate you taking your time out to drop me your feed. I especially appreciate the nomination for PSHOF, i'm glad you enjoyed the piece. Elevation is key, 1luv.

Thank you too flash, i didn't realize that i neglected to acknowledge your feed before, elevation is key, 1luv.

what a geek (j/p). I think this was pretty dope. I always like when someone takes an interesting point of view for a poem, and this was definately interesting! I think the concept could have gone the other way tho, and been from the point of view of a well known comic character or a stereotypical one, that is enthusiastic about everything or something like that. You went the other way well tho. I also like how you wrote about the distain your character had for his mundane obligatory existance in his books, but at the end he/she states that to be barried in manga would "be the life" especially since they're dead. idk if you meant this or not, but it leads me to go on to belive that some form of this characters personality would be reincarnated into the other works of manga to continue existance. that just may be me trying to be upbeat tho. great peice dude.

If you wouldnt mind returning feed when you have the time i'd appreciate it.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302306

Despite the name calling thanks for the in depth feedback man. I appreciate you giving me your analysis of what the reader percieves going into this piece, clearly i already knew the outcome upon my first read, so it was interesting seeing what someone from another point of view had to say. I won't say certain parts of the poem were included or omitted or what have you for artistic purpose, i just want you to take from it what you choose to take from it, my intent likely won't be as satisfying as your ideal so whatever works for you, run with it! lol thanks again for the feedback man, 1luv.