A Strange Light : The Great Escape

A Strange Light
By: Nash
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Me & my family ridden to a prison consumed by light
scared that no one can hear us ..so impuned by night
our immune bodies had no fight ..
no bed & nothing to eat. we tried to defeat hunger ..
fearless the second child sat near us & rustled our slumber
so then we thinned in numbers. feasts under our own blood
we plundered the mud as good as we could ...
... but couldn't survive the flood
couldn't keep alive our love, for a baby just born ..
she'd worn her welcome, so our eyes dust with scorn
hatred mourned our feelings. disputfull human beings
seeing we shant make ourselves find a way through this thing
.. fleeing with no navigation so our missplacement seemed fit
but the scent of our own flesh sticks. can't see, but smelt it
felt it, among rocks, plunderous earth shocks, with locks
of uncombed hair, we were unprepared ..so scared
though fair, we divied up the juicy cups of water we'd found
the deeper we moved, the darker the sound.
caged here, under the mounds of mountainous rubble
countless bubbles of dark red formed at the ends of shovels
above us on the land. slaves worked for no reason and ..
seasons changed, misspleasing our needs
though we feed off our own thirst, the worst yet to come
as we searched for some sign of a blind escape
we couldn't run from fate. an ancestry long tortured
but wait! our strong search for a light in the night
paid off in further sight. a hole to the right of the cave
a fight with the guards felt brave. & the slaves escaped
.
The Great Escape
By: Lex
.
In the heat of the night i ran..defeated by my own fatal expression
.. & my recelection of the previous situation misslead our progression
a session of guns blasting made the cries ever lasting
The americans in which I dispise, realized Japs were on the run
Piles of bodies would overlaps, leaving asians over laps
Shards of metal left cracks on our backs.. All for fun?
Then attacks came out from behind, we're running blind
This is no creativity of the mind just another addition to my life story
gory visions got me a little caught up leaving my mind wasted
then i was shot looking at my brother asking the bullet how he tasted
I've faced it, i wonder why we're now so under, from love to hunger
We were brought from a hurt cave, We thought we were brave
We just couldnt behave which is why spots were saved in the ground
Found ourselves away from the troops, still slaving for sound
we were found desperatley looking for a friendly fixture ...
... finally out of hell, but four out of six remained in the picture
aside from the photo, our future lets go of the assassination
therefore the oblideration of our family, contained no devastation
.
http://www.powmadeak47.com/korea/indexkor.jpg
the four of us survived, two thus destined to die ..
.. although no proof, so still no one sustains to cry

Links ..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...45#post4696745
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...47#post4696747
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...9&page=2&pp=15

By the way if you leave link we'll get back to them. :)

This was good.I enjoyed the wording and wordplay.The imagery was great.Emotion was heart fulfilling. Both flows were steady. Seemed that there was equal effort on both ends. You both did good. Keep it up.

Thanks man.

Rise pelase. :)

good work on this, i enjoyed the creativity in your wordplay ya had good topic which was followed up by nice vocab and the flow seemed to roll right along with the collab as well. good strucutre everything lined up and was on qQ from start to finish. Alot of emotion in it as well very welll thought of and construcuted

overalll a good drop me myself im not into this type of verse but never the less a dope drop

9/10

Thanks mna...Nice to see yo back in the RB land :).

27 views and only 2 feed backs? Come on!

this is a heavy topical, hard to write about, nice read tho
i like the out of line rhyming and follow through on the lines
makes for and interesting read, get suspensfull and shit
emotional and well constructed piece
8/10

Thankyou.

Rise.

Alright drop. I can work with it. Certainly more decent than your others.

I actually caught Leximus's attempt to use heavier range of vocabulary, and attempt to enstill great imagery within the author. This piece was very lengthy, but at the end it was a remarkable OM for more Leximus than Big Nash, because I've been waiting to see Leximus really break out of the shell he's been hiding in, and just write. Just write for once.

The imagery was nice, and the concept was creative. The title really lulls the reader in, and it was suspenseful.

Overall, I can mark your progress Leximus. Keep it up.

Thanks man..>We donw with the beef?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Leximus

Thanks man..>We donw with the beef?

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No.

Lol why cant we be done with the beef?