Footsteps to Follow In (emotional)
I wake up and shake the cobwebs, where am I? who am I?
drowning myself in booze although I usually choose the high
when stressed my tools confess of mind, big vessels in my eyes
so I see through torture, only pride is my mortar and pestel grind
threatened on the defensive line, waiting for my pension to arrive
pondering if it's out of the question for an extension on my prime
Drenched in sweat and grime..knucles worn of dynomite
father told me avoid black holes and died. boy, that was fine advice
mother was only my soil..despite humble prayers, no sunlight spared
plotted me a spot to grow in, then fucking upped and disappeared
stranded I scanned for cover, fell into the hands of grandmother
whos love burned black like ashes, she slapped off my slapstick
when I stubbornly wanted candy, a reward of ham sandwich
when i was drunk off brandy, went to town with a fast switch
shook me to my roots, and all i could muster was messy blessings
to the soul controller holding me down, some real co-dependence
I thought that's my core and my pedestal
...though she really getting old
she wore red lipstick at her funeral to cover lips like silver bows
I wore an overshirt and slippers, a bold smirk and a quiver
and for the photo shoot pictures I controlled an overworked liver
Smouldering with malice, cornered in a foreign palace
Alone, myself, just I, screaming my sadness to the chasms
Heart pump callused...jump start my mind but find it padded
my kind is savage..self-seperating antics fueled by panic
dispensing with the sensitive cuz motives crude as sanscript
developing antibodies to mute the soft words she planted
and the mantis intellect is a malady atrophied to gelatin
hungering for a supple tit, I could give a shit about my fellow man
soft flesh to caress with silk hands that constantly rock the cradle
hourglass beauty in blue lace, moon face attached at the navel
graceful and gentle cacoon, causing sequential bloom
in a fertile flurry of steps thinning the breath of winter gloom
a swan swollen in motion and faith, about to take my hand
when she convulses mid gait and explodes to grains of sand
I'm deep space racing to land
My head falls safe into my hands..
woke up this morning and smoked a dutch,
alone and flushed
from a night of mental dashing past latches corroded with rust
mental sweating in the lockbox, slumbering thoughts calling shots
As i crawled against dissolving walls and dodged the falling clocks
shattering glass which in pin pricks turned liquid rather than skinning
..my body solid, I followed the sound of a distant mistress singing
and when i catch her I strain to slam her face behind a crate
A slight gasp out of existence into imagined database
A pretty face liquidates into information stored 'n
deep feelings consolidate til beauty frozen to adore in
That's all i can afford 'n, chastity cast away for shadowplay
I touch the flesh then compute the possible effects of my foray..
i know she's waiting if i can just crawl a little further...
mental exhaustion, locked in a pursuit that shakes the boxspring
skipping over data chips and hopping fatal crossings
pass a regent of sentinel recievers with bent and twisted features
sent to teach me the procedure of being spit out in the mirror
Into a copy of yourself with shackled senses and battered pride
A casuality of passive drive, battery packed infanticide
vanity is a blight..i'm so self-centered without you to focus on
when fact and fantasy collided..
and i was still alive when the smoke was gone
see every night i chase a woman who is beautiful and naked
and she ends up being you covered in soot and decrepit
tugging at your apron for newts eye and dragon tooth
I'm sure you can't feel a thing, skin is peeling off of you
coming forth in folds of wizened life, appearing timestruck
I reminisce on times I fell, and how you turned me right up
your eyes are lumps of coal..in their true form, ain't no diamonds
but you took a punishing toll, without time for painted horizons
It's always you and solely you,
I track you down but you're too fast for me
oh, 'what was I to know of love's austere and lonely faculties..'
