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Don`t Say A Word
Hush little baby...
I`m broken, yet unbroken, spoken, yet unspoken
Holdin` onto my last breath, teary eyed, lungs chokin`
Gun holstered, young, chosen to be a victim
Told mommy sumthin` would happen, she didn`t wanna listen
Kissin`, led to touchin`, touchin` led to fuckin`
Grabbed me by my hair, forced me to do the suckin`
Stuck in, a back seat...gaspin`
My cries drowned out, all I can hear is him laughin`
I thought he was the one, but I had doubts
Got myself in this situation, feelin` it was too late to back out
He said he loved me, he said that he cared
He said if I got pregnant, he`d promise to be there
But I never seen this side of him, the violent him
My silent hymm, guess it`s what you call the pride of me, or
The pride of him, I told him I loved him, wanted him to be the first
Then he started tearin` off my clothes, forced himself into me...
And it hurt
Not only physically, but mentally, left feelin` empty, bleedin`
Wishin` I never fell for him, it`s not how it was meant to be
If this is what love gets you, please don`t let me love again
Broken, forever fearin` the touch of men
Feelin` the blood rush within, a victim of my own trust
Lettin` the peer pressure get to me, a victim of my own lust
But, I won`t tell a soul, don`t want to leave this door open
But look into my eyes and you`ll hear my cries
Still, I`m unspoken
...Don`t say a word
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i like this flow, easy to catch.. and a nice message, can see this gointo audio with ease...
it was a little short though.. imo, you should have expand it more..
nice read fam
bump
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deep, deep, deep story. or true? but it was good. you wasnt focusin on the rhyme, you can easily tell that this came from the heart. excellent piece.
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Nice piece here Nah'. Subject we've all tried to some extent, in our own different ways. The victim always seems to have a dying urge to say shit but just can't bring herself to open up. I was more impressed with your mechanics. You have a nice knack fro repeating yourself, but with a different meaning ( In the actual piece, I mean ). Whilst keeping a dope flow, you told a decent-ish story. Props, man.
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This was a nice piece. The flow was easy, and the content was very casual so the piece overall was something everyone can feel because it has the emotion to apeal to the higher end writers, and everything else that a beginer would apreciate. The storyline worked nicely, everything was contectually fluent and the lines all worked nicely into a great whole in the conclusion. One thing I didn't like was sometimes it felt like the piece because too dependant on multies....
"Kissin`, led to touchin`, touchin` led to fuckin`
Grabbed me by my hair, forced me to do the suckin`"
Like with that line, ya... We all know was 'suckin' is but it just came off as very immature and unintelligent the way it was presented. It also made the wording slightly awkward apposed to the majority of the piece were everything was worded near perfectly. The vibe of this was cool, I liked the casual tone, it gave a very realistic feeling as if someone was just straight up telling this to someone. Nice job man.