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this was good feeble nice emotion and deep deep metaphors of vocab as well..nice structured approach. some lines fell of but you made up for them....i loved your ending..the closer was str8 awesome.
RTF on the om called shattered reflection please
Dang im feeling this fa real mainly cause it embodies something i strongly believe in. Excellent messge, and rhyme scheme. Solid ending. Thorough quality, i must say.
want to grt into a battle. help me out. can't get in...
I liked. From orator's way all the way to the end was my favorite part. Flow was on point. This was short and sweet. Can't really go into depth with a response because it would be unecessary. Pz.
This is good - your pieces have good symmetry, you use metaphors, you let things pan out and don't deliver too early on a building suspense, and the syllable count is on point. You're a refined writer. I'd like to see you write about a topic more personal to you rather than the kind of run-of-the-mill transcendental meditation on the current state of music which is great but kind of played and is kind of a cheap way to garner emotional response to me. I only say that because i think you're a good writer and I want you to take the next step to personal subject matter. But, word, good rap
They're moving the pen But they're losing the beat
swaying & moving again.. but they're choosing defeat
the sweat from writing drips Smoothly On my knees
Its wet slippery regret - I'm not usually appeased
Pleased By music and its breeze, I'd focus attention
On Swaying to the Rhythm & take no notice of tension
this was fire. You went at it at this part but it sorta seemed li9ke a freestyle tha way your rhymes were placed in your verse. kinda short coulda had more flips into it but you used metafors wich i like mostly 'n yoyu had a lot of concideration into your verse throughtout the whole thing. But didnt really stay on topica to my standards. Nice work
Good drop, I could feel the emotion, an original and interesting topic, you really kept on point, you didn't stretch the om, you made it short and talented, with meaning to the whole piece.
favorite lines:
But Its hopeless prevention to keep the orator's way
While Real writers mold opinions into rhetorical clay
That verse really stood out to me, your flow was constant and well used, good use of multis, and good rhymes and vocab, you kept me reading the whole time....it was a good read...
if you could return the favor
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=298517
thanks
great drop really suported your topic
very nice peice here dude,it was very well written. You are obviously very talented in all aspects of text and not just battling. your imagery in this peice is what was really obvious to me,it was very good...I had a picture in my head of every thing that you described,which f course shows that your description is very good,a very important factor in an OM imo. The topic was very original and well thought of,I give you props for the concepts that you came up with in this peice,they were very impressive. A very good peice,very enjoyable...and I will look out for more of your peice in the future. pz.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=298712
^hit that up plz