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Celebration with a Stone
Cold, and chilling, forever willing to spend the day with her
Far from home, the parts unknown to visit whats a blur
Tormenting memories, of obscenities of life together
Spared by the wicked affair, of her being gone forever
I cry through the lonely nights, absent from her side
I die slowly inside, venturing away from her guide
Deep thoughts of her been, being gone, never seeing
Her face as I wake, ready to take, her values and agreeing
Because without her, I’m wrecked with infinite sorrow
It doesn’t concur, for others I’m sure, I won’t live tomorrow
Walking amazed, through lives maze, sadness with bore
You can’t love living, if you have no love to live for
As the wind chills, and the reaper kills, I carry emotions
I try to fabricate, the feeling of hate, as a missed notion
I fall to the ground; this is her day, the grass I pound
Her voice is the sound, which I rewound so I rebound
The essence of her tone, and her divine movements
Considering her rhythm made natural improvements
Without her I’m confused, without circadian patterns
The tree that held me up died, destruction of Saturn
Suicide attempts I tried and a miss determination amiss
What is this? The threshold of my depression fit
Grievings’ seven year teasing, for god it’s pleasing
The seizing, of what was appeasing, was freezing
My reality as it was known, when she was found prone
Stitching couldn’t solve this injury, it wasn’t sewn
My mind had skipped
I cried in the dark
…drowned the picture
my body had flipped
I had just embarked
…my mind stricture
Staring into her stone eyes, vengeance on my mind
Not forgetting our earthly tie, spiritual was hard to find
War on my mind to be raw, with teachings of evil
Satanic thoughts of what I’ve fought, seem feeble
Enraged with rage, my lethal gaze, hand raised
In the fading haze, my eyes ablaze, a new phase
Turning to Machiavelli on important strategies
Thoughts of death, my conscious is mad at me
This is a remembrance period, I’m not serious
My image is imperious, my mind is delirious
I’ll return in a year, each year it seems colder
On the occasion that she becomes a year older
Another year, and all that I feel is so very alone
Another year, I celebrate her birthday with a tombstone
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Nice Work....... The Topic Was Different To Any Other Topic, Which Made It Stand Out Abit. The Vocab Was Good And Well Used Through Out The Verses. The Flow & Structure Made It Easy To Read From Quote To Verse..... The Quotes Added Another Dimension To It. Well Done.
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upping for some feed please.
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I read this erlier just didnt leave feed. The wordplay was decent. But the flow got me off siorry. The structre was great. The multies were nice. The story was great. You stayed on topic.
Best line through my eyes:
Tormenting memories, of obscenities of life together
Spared by the wicked affair, of her being gone forever
We should collab some other time.
~Lex
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upping for some more feed...
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stayed on the topic, never dropped your flow, you stayed steady with it, it was great. my favorite part was the first verse where i could easily tell what was going on.
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This was nice and the only reason that i really liked this piece was because it was very emotional i was eager to keep reading your piece because you made it real interesting in the begining which made me want to kep reading imagery was on point and you had some metaphos which was impresive to me your vocab wa ok but sloppy at some point overall this would be a 3.5 out of 5 keep dropping your elevating alot homie
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I'm really diggin the topic. Its not every day that you see such a heartfelt topic. I can tell that there is some real life connection to this. Good job. Heavy props.
