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More Than A Message
More Than A Message
As a little league baseball coach you always want best for the kids
Clean uniforms, fresh cleats, hats, bats, and baseball mitts
Make their spirits lift, so I try to show them support and appreciation
I want to deliver more than a message but vital life long information
I show dedication and give motivation to our future generation
Don’t buckle to temptation, never forget you’re childhood destination
I have expectations, if they’re not meant I am dementedly stern
Parents would become concerned...
...If they knew their child may not be there when they return
You see I make stomachs turn, I’m know as a menace to society
Money makes sexual predators listings disappear giving me less anxiety
Punishments have variety; bad games leave players fearful for practice
Practices leave no parents aloud, and I am as hard on them as a cactus
I show malpractice; deliver more than a message but a life long lesson
One by one take them to my van and get them familiar with caressing
Their bodies are obsessing, don’t judge me, it’s how my body works
Ripping off T-Shirts, suddenly I turn violent, start beating with a smirk
Fuck! I grab his hand, show him how to jerk, go till I orgasm
It’s like a fathom; I haven’t fucked for weeks so one by one I grab em’
Seven years old, bodies not developed, subliminal messages discrete
Next game you better compete or the cycle repeats...
...On to their feet, as I slowly excrete on their faces and hot concrete
Next game brings another defeat, next practice brings more humiliation
Unwilling kids left at practice, ready to be tormented by my fixation
Oral masturbation sufficient without hesitation leads to sensation
But if there’s procrastination,
Trepidation will be instilled as their assholes are torn in isolation
An eternal infatuation, meanwhile the others are running and wheezing
Their heavily breathing...
...Tell them if they start freezing, they’ll be next in line for this beating
Johnny is caught cheating; cutting corners won’t help in one life time
Call him over, force him to kneel down and prepare for my slime
Unknowingly committing crimes, this sensation overtakes my conscious
I grabbed Johnny’s head unknowingly, brake his neck for being obnoxious
Unaware, I continued to thrive for orgasm to bring back conscious, Fuck
Realizing what I’ve done, threw his body in the trunk...
.
.
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Next thing I know I’m laying on the ground in handcuffs, eyes battered
My life’s shattered, overwrought thoughts of Johnny’s death is all that mattered
His life tattered in blood splatter, my life’s been intercepted, now deaths expected
The judge tells me a needle will be injected for delivering more than a message
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i liked it i saw hell of talent some rough edges but still solid the meaning is there and when you do a deep peace tyhere's no inbetween its either liked or not worth it and this was a good read.
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Man....I don't Know what THE FUCK you were trying to achieve with this drop; but if depth was the goal - then by all means man - try again. In my opinion the only thing you did successful was capturing the insanity of the your character, and I must say you did an excellent job with the visuals. I can't front your detailing was immaculate and like most of your pieces it held a certain cinematic quality, however, why such a crude and grottiest topic? Who the fuck writes about pedophilia in such detail and gore, yet fails to express a moral or a motive? Sure the story was expertly executed from a lyrical standpoint, but what it gained in mechanics it most certainly lacked in substance. I don't know, maybe I just expect too much form you? I mean don't get me wrong you are and exceptional writer and this piece proves that - mechanically, you just need to work on the finding the human elements that....shit I don't know...this piece was good in a lot of way and could be better in others. Your one weird fuck for this one though.
All in all defiantly worth the read.
Peace.
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Hahaha...
The topic was for More than A Message, it was for a topical battle. It was plain, boring and had been done a million times. I had to make it original. A good writer writes about things others are are afraid to touch the surface on. I put my self in the mindstate of a pedophilia and put into words what he was going through. Tell me have you ever seen it before? Was it original? Could you pictures what was going on? Thanks for the feed but I don't know how to take it...
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^Sure...Camarac did it last month. Didn't say it sucked, just said it was weird, thats all.
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Ok, I did this last month too...
