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Ticket To Hell
Sodomizing the society with a broken
promise to my creator. Bleeding some
dark stoic comments about abating..
I have a lust for counting the darker
Side of the homily, so i can show it to
The masses and become unforgiven.
Listen, I used to play poker with a
Hopeless soul who went all in, with
A side of attrition. But then I smashed
The mirror. Im an iconoclastic, bitter
Lips kissing a dagger etched in valor.
God's litigous system is tough on a
Cadaver with a ligitamate existence
System. My cause is begging for
Water, but I am drinking shrapnel,
With a side of exquisite oblideration visions.
I spit on your plastic saviors no bigger than my pistol piece
Waiting for the right chance to pull the trigger on my enemy
Contemplating suicide with a conceited hope its do or die
Fam or friends, I secede from both but not to ruin lives
These troops of mine, shoot placebos, not my painkillers
They just delude and reload, im wrought with an insane chiller
I'm repaid sicker, made iller with injections from the my own mind
Abating, fateless as fade into dejection on the oh so cold side
I mold mine, my eyes deviate from the light to demented darker things
I just cannot seem to alleviate in spite of the attempted martyrdom
I begin a descent to hardly loved, human equality? i discard the sums
Searching for a blinding light cuz my minds eye just retards my love
I'm alarmed and stunned, brevity is the key to a disturbed life
Because re-origin is the basic enemy of the perturbed strife
I have learned right, from the pills and bottle bottoms; sequester
Jump off the ball and fall into the model of awesome... death's door
Blinking in the limelight, figurative
Firefighters trying to become tramp
olines. A lie despite my dying soul
Which is now revamped to see. To
See the beauty in falling, perishing
Beneath the engulfing darkness. But
I guess im not heading to Heaven's
Garden, without a jolt from the ardent
I shove my faith in a 1/6th filled, spinning gun barrel
i love the way it persists to be emitting stun shrapnels
Playing euthanasia with a sick force to be reckoned with
But who could predict whats in store for a pessimist
Distorted relevance, I got a warped topaz connection
My mindscapes a morgue of the most erratic of questions
I signed fate; abort, napalm with the wings of a butterfly
After shot y, hear the calm and a ring of a suffering mind
Im loving demise, catalyst for a happy kiss of reality dosage
I see a fatality growing, and my minds searchlight is percepting it
Scared to say lifes nice cuz then Im reminded a termites infesting it
My soul is determined to rest again, it sees past metaphysics
It's sees past the glory, its sees past death's false business
I bleed an amniotic for the reaper, Jesus
Repossing my soul for payment to Satan.
A line of blood across my wrist, like an
Innates sense of abating. Fading, I'm
A Kurt Cobain cardboard persona who
Can see the Wizard Of Oz behind the
Curtain. And he is telling me.. The razor
is existing to stop the hurting. My stalk
Is burning. There is nothing left to live.
No one is speaking survival. No savior can tell to persist
Contradicting commandments and punching tickets to hell in my wrist
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...3&page=2&pp=15 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...1&page=1&pp=15
its obviously true that I am soulstice.. s check for that name in the links
and unban me! raggh
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ya this was a great peice really liked the topic and your vocabulary great all around piece looking forward to more pieces by you
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these aren't replies
upping
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your vocabulary was good an liked the way u tryed using complex words like the old school stuff see infinet though this was tryinng to make it sound u used a type of dictonary to pice together your stuff when u replace words it sounds forced try and read and lurn complex words before you go to sleep or try to use them in everyday speach because i find if you try that (it may sound stuiped at first) you start to rhym it where it fits apporately idk just tryin to help it was a bit forced to me eg promise to my creator. Bleeding some
dark stoic comments about[ abating..]<< its outa place you need to back it up
also need to post seperatly cas ppl want o read it quick smaller tighter rhyms
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People need to leave you some good feed
Anyway this piece was pretty long lol but well worth the read. You had some dope vocab in this piece, i kept reading all the way through. This piece had good emotion and i was glued to the screen.
Your vocab was strong, it dont matter if you try to use complex words or not because this piece just made it in my books. You had strong lines which make the reader imagine its them thats spitting this.
Your structure was well throughout as it went with the piece. The topic i got confused in some places but i cant knock this or i would be haiting because overall this piece was dope homie. I would say it was too long but i red it all the way through so you done yourself good. I'm looking forward for your next drop and i will watch out for your name in the future. Keep dropping ayt.
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This was....really good
... i felt the topic i kind of think ofthe same thing but this was rreal written piece. the structure was real well, and it fit so perfectly with the vocabulary, real nice use of words. this was really common, but it flow nicely, but the imagry was okay. The emotion was really deep, so deep to awaken a human being 6 feet deep, but this what the site needs compitetion, and extordanary writters....
good piece chek the sig for the OM.....
