The Love Fool

The Love Fool (Him)

I'm sitting watching the rain on this hot summer day and
if I may I would like to keep you in the place where you lay
because being away from you is just not an option
forget the abortion, your love to me is like an addiction
for which i need my fix and to just feel those kicks
of loving you endlessly with no lies and no tricks
no chance of me straying away to find a new romance
you send me into a trance at even one single glance
across the room from me there standing in full view
of showing off that body of which I pursue
ceaselessly to forever hold you within my arms
with you knowing I'm stuck under your charms
yet I'm feeling no remorse of how my lifes ran its course
its treated me well and I guess I can thank the unknown force..

The Love Master (Her)

I lay here watching you as I'm waiting away the hours
of this supposed great love that is currently ours
for which I'm in control of this love that you extol
i have no soul, you see I'm just in it for that roll
of dollars that you are currently investing in that bank
thats strictly there for those of us who are upper rank
who like you are fools for beautiful women such as me
who gleefully do anything to a certain degree
to make us happy and keep us from leaving you
but i see through it all as I successfully construe
my plan to get what i can from you just like you do
to me and other women but your fortune ill accrue
and leave you with nothing but a fools broken
heart thats shattered into pieces as a token
from me yes the bitch of your dreams
and remember us women are never what we seem




Link 1: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...86#post4569286
Link 2: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...01#post4569301

up 1, feed please

i liked this i felt the emotion and flow throughout
topic was nice and i liked the imagery
rhymes were good and vocab was nice
overall i enjoyed this..keep it up it was good.

day
may
lay
option
addiction
those kicks
tricks
romance
glance
view
pursue
arms
charms
course
force

The Love Master (Her)

hours
ours
extol
roll
bank

and some more stuff

you need to see if you can make more words rhyme
you sound like paul wall

the rest is good

wtf, what kinda feed is that. they wernt the only rhymes. geez..

can i have more constructive feed please.

Up 3.. Stop sleepin on me!

up4

i was feeling this piece...Vocab was decent my dude. Flow was on point. The emotion was there but i feel you coulda came stronger wit it. Nice piece tho........

^Thanks.

Last Up.