Dear Meghan,

Dear Meghan,
Wat happend last night? I'm confused but I feel no pain
I just remember searchin for you 'till you screamed my name
Now I'm wakin on this foreing pillow digressin slowly to insane
Look of greif was upon my face then, as yours was plain
Darkness in my memory as I told myself that it was nothing
Tellin you: "We had no connection no lovin 'n no lusting!
Listen Meghan or w/e your name is it was nothin last night!"
Respondin: "I can see that by how you get my name right"
Stutterin, try to think as the man that I am wit three kids
"Really we only got together last night 'cuz of this penis!"
Now when I said ^this I really didn't mean to mean this
But I had to get you off my nuts, so I had to be my meanest
You left, wit tears which gave me room to let go of my own
But then I got over it, cleaned up 'n headed for my home
I've loved you more than my wife she just trapped me
The kids like havin a Mom 'n a Dad, but I'm not happy
I dream of life with you. Thoughts clouded by your smile
Rollin over awake to touch your face, to see her all the while
How did I miss my chance?! Wheres my happy ending?!!
My life should be yours spendin as the times tending
All the more I close my eyes, is all the more you I miss
So, to help clear my conscious I just write you this
Hope to cross paths again, to feel again that bliss
Now wishin that wit this envelope I could enclose a kiss
...
..
.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=295605
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294306

nice peice real nice peice, likin the emotion put into it, nice consept in structure, i was really interested in the topic, it got better when it started to go into the middle and you gave me a good image to the peice, good job...

it wasnt bad work at all u wernt completely consistant but also you didnt fall off to bad
work on climantic points if u added multiple 1's this would be much better but it still came good

^Thanx for the feed. Bump.

nice flow and perfect structure.
rhymes were good. nice multies.
vocab and complexity was good throughout.
overall this was cool. i liked the topic.

^Thanx. Bump.

Shit yo bump.

Good piece Keyed. You showed good emotion which really got me into the verse. Vocabulary wasn't all that great but it didn't really need to be. Flowed good, good structure. Had some nice imagrey in there as well. Good drop keyed.

Keep writing.

this was str8 feelin the flow and structure vocabulary wasnt all that good but it really didnt need to be had some nice imagery and emotion was str8 good job keep comin

Thanx for the feed. Bump.