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lol
Wait, so the guy they bowed to was who exactly? sorry, my reading comprehension may suck at times. lol.
but anyways this was nice and well written, i respect your imagination and this is the kind of stuff i like reading. It gave me a lord of the rings vibe with it's own original taste. story-line was pretty interesting and i'll be looking forward for the next chapter... btw i don't really see any faults like maybe a little more detail on the characters' personality, but i guess that will later be put into depth.
oh and btw again...
i think you mean they* stabbed the ground. and nice shit by sayen the ground bled lol.. it showed some of the poetic side of this story.Quote:
With that, the stabbed the ground and bowed to one of the men on the porch.
keep it up... oh and here's a link to my open mic maybe u can return the favor u know a lil feed-back... it's called cloud ten...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293314
well its not done yet
and im too lazy to rpobobly ever put up chapter 2
This isn't my type of story, but it has a good build up to it. I'd say that it's kind of boring, but that's only because I don't like this genre. There are a few grammer errors, but not many. One thing that I don't understand is why you put an appostrophy with Archivers.
This piece was nicely worded, and it had a great storyline. I think you could've done withou the character listing at the first part, because that just added more mystery and thinking to the reader. Good entrance, and building up to the plot and very descriptive.