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"Beyond The Dumpster"
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290122
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...44#post4397744
homeless...
Duzt
If i had one shot at a normal life itd be off tha rim juss missed tha shit...
If god exsists then his loves inconspicuos...
how would you feel if people shoved and hit you with...
metal pipes, sticks, they spit and dont live above tha influence...
obviously i made some stupid moves, got busted I'm not that smart...
went from a benz wit rims ta dented tin a trusty rusted shopping cart...
the mix of cardboard and concrete permanetly hurt my spine...
such a wonderful society but i aint worth their time...
everdayday head ta toe im filled wit dirt & grime...
couldnt catch a buzz even if i chugged turpentine...
but ya wanna know what really bugs me and disturbs my mind?...
YOU EVA HEAR OF NUT CHEESE? well my entire shits submerged in slime!...
Sometimes i wish life was a race and i could plot tha course...
Id make it off a cliff go full speed and lock tha doors...
the scent of stale shit and piss makes me smell like a rotting corpse...
i wish i owned a wallet so i didnt have ta pick pocket yours!...
i lack a conscience now, ill go and break in ur apartment...
after smokin crack and look for scraps in tha garbage...
bug tha fuck out and take a CRAP ON YA CARPET!...
even if i got a job interview i wouldnt make the appointment...
u think its annoyin...that this city reeks cuz i use tha streets for my toilet!?...
parents walk on the other side of the street to let me know im sickening...
like i dont know this already like i wasnt listening...
to their disgusted whispering...
my lights aren't out up stairs their juss flickering!...
im a disgrace ta life there is no light its juss comprised of darkness...
i despise my carcuss...
i wish i was dead but SURPRISE im still Alive wit Carnage...
in all honesty its way too late to progress my sobriety...
no help from congress im juss a low life in society...
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I liked this a lot, man, very well written and I could feel the flow of it and the well versed punchlines. Very strong stuff, high above many other pieces I read on this board at least as far as rhyme style. A lot of people won't even see it... pity.
9/10
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yeah i agree flow was spot on, bit basic but the multis and delivery was
the thing that caught my attention and drew me back to carry on reading
The only think I would say about this is unless you tell us what beat its too
I find it hard to follow your speed, coz some bars seem readlly streashed an
others really short- which dont always leave up to much.
Great to have a good read thou thanx pz
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flow was crazy style was nice but a little basic
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hot shit.
flow with this was cool
i thought when i read this i was going to be reading some ol' goofy ass cartoon type shit 4 some reason but this was str8 you still need to elevate some more i enjoyed teh shit doe aint much to say boutt his tho cuz it was str8 to me..
but ya wanna know what really bugs me and disturbs my mind?...
YOU EVA HEAR OF NUT CHEESE? well my entire shits submerged in slime!...
^^^ that right tehre was some funny shit doe i liked that part you came creative with this shit honestly so stay up and keep droppin the hotness
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Meh theme, but you have a good grasp of flow and multi rhyming. Above the mass, man. Above the mass.
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