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My Truest Shit (violent)
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...83#post4374783
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=289239
This verse goez wit the beat of 2pac's song Violent, so listen to it if u havent already so u get the flow
They wanna send mah race back over the border
Employ us only to pay us five dollarz and a quarter
So you claim i'm nothin but a dirty mexicano
Well now you're fucked cuz i can be your worst rival
No longer will i work in the back doing dishes
Damn i'm sick of it so, i'm gonna act malicious
I wasn't really detrimental
But yet they never cease to blame me for the violence
Eighteen yearz of this shit, so slugz flyin will undoubtedly commence
They gonna get plugged in the temple
Without a trace of evidence
They claim we evil (gunshot) ha, bet they didn't know we also lethal
(laughs) Bitch ass border patrol say wassup to my rifle
I leave the american citizens in silence
They awestruck by my rap'z eloquence
We fed up wit runnin' and jumpin' over the fence
So now it's arrived--the moment of truth
They tryin' to apologize but it's too late
The government has awaken a sleeping giant we prepared to bring the hate
War seemz evident so ima have to behave...violent
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nice.......................but damn son..do you understand the word structure your sopittin here????i can.can oyu.....nice peice though.lol.on the real.just stressin ya.p--e-a-c-e-
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Your 3 bar lines dont parry up, as your lines are too streached
It was alright but I just found it a bore to read to be truthful...
In time you shall improve though... props
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i liked it... the flow was ok and the structure was also.. u coulda used more emotion and imagery...and the vocab was decent... but good drop tho keep em coming.. 1
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omg this is why im gonna sound like a rascist fuckin asshole but i fuckin hate how u fuckin mexicans go around waving your mexican flags and saying how much you wanna be in america......heres something for u.......wave a fuckin american flag....if your so valuable to the u s do somethng productive shut the fuck up, and dont be fuckin illegal...u realize we dont have a problem with anyone else....why....cus their legal....fuckin idiot
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oh.......and ur a fuckin idiot for thinking mexico can win in a war.....good luck with that...what u gonna do....cover us in grass from ur lawn mowers....or throw strawberrys at us....oh no...we should just nuke u stupid fuckers
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lmao stupid ignorant little kid...i was born here fool...fuckin little kids
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delivery and structure need work but text content was ill i liked this i have beat and stretched lines problem also it all actually depends on how you spit so audio might amplify this to more.
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pretty good dude. not that bad. as one who has heard the song before, this wasn't that bad as it followed through. some of the was u set that shit up could be better, and delivery as well as structure. but yea, the message is ill and would be cool to hear behind the beat.
yo, try and leave some feed on this this if ya can.. its BEEF!
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290435
