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Never Trust
This is a quick song i wrote today, if it helpz-i wrote the song wit a beat by Conejo's song called Angel of Death, itz a slow but deep beat the lyricz go slow so hopefully that'll help u understand the flow
Verse 1
Silently--I devise a scheme for your demise so be advised
My eyez gleam in evil i'm trapped in a world of lies
I never try to be equal
I'm sentenced to betrayal
Cuz muthafuckerz don't know how to be loyal
Yeah i'm usually nice but not right now
I'm rolling the dice
Every number is a variation of your life's end
And i got more than one choice
That's twelve to be exact
And trust ima be on tact when i attack
This shit i say ain't bullshit
And if you don't like it fuck it just split
Cuz i'm through with caring
Buck wit a mack-nitty to any nigga that stay staring (echo fade out)
Chorus:
In the city the city Chi I never trust
Watchin mah back twenty-four seven is a must
I don't blame you if you commence to gunz bust
(repeat 1x)
Verse 2:
In the Chi you either kill or you die
Infinite methodz of being aquainted with death
Memories of the past instigate nightmarez of mah last breath
Of all possibilities which will it be?
Somethin tellin me mah fate is to die violently
I feel the need to see foez bleed
That's mah propriety
Backstabberz all up in mah place
Act like they down and smile in mah face
So cock the hammer just in case
Keepin it gangsta, so watch it you end up a victim
When I resort to shank ya
That's the mentality of a Chicago gansta
Fool that's our reality
...never trust only...bust
Chorus
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word i like that a lil thug cliche but it has mad potential and promice of only elivation stay up twin and peep my ish
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I liked the first verse quite a bit more than the second one, I thought that was more continuity to your verse structure and it flowed better. But I agree with noncentz, just keep practicing and I think you can get pretty good at this.
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well it wasn't bad.it was aight
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uppin--gimme some feedback homiez
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This piece shows a lot of room for growth, I think you have talent you just need to develope a technique and chip at it until your were you want to be. I was feelin' the concept and the flow was on point as well was your vocab, the rhyme scheme was basic but it shows potential. I think your dope you just need to keep at it and keep getting better. I'll look for more of your work.
Peace
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I would recomend working on your structure and flow of this peice...your vocab was decent and you do show room for growth so keep elevating and you'll get there. Stay up. Late.
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koo thankz for that feedback
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It was straight nigga u got a good vocabulary, i liked da 2nd verse better cuz 2 me it seemed 2 flow better keep on postin shit and ill comment on ur shit
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flow was a bit choppy man..you should elevate on that....
topic was pretty interesting and ya rhymes were pretty nice..
vocab and complexity was descent overall...elevate on that too
but overall this wasnt bad....you got sum potential..keep at it..peace~
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Decent read...
OK...
First thing, I thought the flow lacked in some areas, but it stayed solid in most areas..I would suggest trying to even out your syllables for the most part...Also, I would suggest some more use of internals (multis) to make it a little more complex...I really liked you vocabulary...the beginning started out great, got me hooked into the verse. You did seem to fall off towards the end, though. For the most part, though, you stayed consistant. The Hook was interesting...Nice read, I see potential..
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