King Of Death

King Of Death
.
i know ya hearts not strong, but life goes on
lived so good, you would'a thought NOTHIN's wrong
..
the boy sat atop his thoughts on his throne
twelve years old, brought to act all grown
well known, treated as a leader ..until death
died close to thirteen on his very last breath
what is it? GORE! ..but what for! why hostile
why not live a while? live WITH style ..
not profiles known by others, be ordinary
be there to be! not under the wrong degree ..
use life as if it were the sea, expand to be free
on top of the land and world. Sayin, "that was me!"
uncontrollably known to see lives live long ..
wanting to live long enough to learn to be strong
it's just wrong, the gore, and much more
behind the door lay freedom ..more in store
don't bore your enemies, create amends ..
you can mend the rips, tares, and bends ..
it depends on the life you lead, can you leave?
do you live above the world or beneath?
decide your belief. a young age, but to die ..
you don't understand why, but to cry ..
is to lie about what happened, stand grounds ..
home runs hit, but you STAY on the pitchers mound
sounds lighten up. the light bulb will soon be back
but the monsoon's still coming & pride you lack ..
...
get brave, man up. show em you can behave
but don't slave upon the home that you crave
life IS a rave, a party with death occurring ..
but to be detouring the blood by the morning
is something to be luring you in. you begin ..
.. to think more often. if not, then more frequent
sequenced thoughts bring the kid Jesus SENT
....
yeah ..life lives strong but i know i live on ..
my eyes and lies have seen and done all wrong
hear this song ..beautiful thoughts gone distraught
you'd have never thought that i'd been caught
but not to make you rot, i rat on the best ..
you test my limits and get two MORE in the chest
i shot you dead. listen, i think he's wheezing ..
and i killed the faggot just cuz he was breathing
....
my anger caught hold of me, lord i'm sorry ..
the gore's within my soul ..but still my heartbeats
i meet you on your feet, and you shoot ME dead
& i MORE than greet this bullet in my head ..
...
i know ya hearts not strong, but life goes on
lived so good, you would'a thought NOTHIN's wrong
..
So believe me when i say. i lived it the horrible way ..
*See ..read the words, cause a king dies today*
.

Links ..
Lands of Scarcity - Spekz
Digging to China - Emerge

This was good, i liked the whole feel of it, twas like an account of somethin' or you looking back at your experiences. However some parts were forced e.g the "pride you lack" part....overall i reckon it twas good but you've painted better pictures

Peep, Thanks
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=4300800

Thanks pak ..
.. to the top

nice shit i felt it through tha whole verse n felt where u was kumin frum nice flow vocab b stricture u stayed on point 2... keep it up...


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=286473
can u leeve sum feed on this

decent peice yo, came off cool and i felt it was all up in there with deepness.. was a bit forced in areas, like that pride you lack shit, but overall a pretty tight peice..
but yeah not your best..
i give you 7.10

pz

Yeah, i liked this peice, it was a good feel, as people have said, the flow worked, though lacked a bit in places, and the vocab was on point too
Nice job :)

thanks you all ..
..now give me more :mad:

err ..umm, upps?

Yea I liked this piece, the flow and how deep ot was for the reader to easily follow.....keep it up

^thanks? ..comon sleeping noobs .

nice piece vocab flow and structure were strong...King of Death a very strong title looked interesting,,, overall great piece...
....
my anger caught hold of me, lord i'm sorry ..
the gore's within my soul ..but still my heartbeats
i meet you on your feet, and you shoot ME dead
& i MORE than greet this bullet in my head ..
...
i know ya hearts not strong, but life goes on
lived so good, you would'a thought NOTHIN's wrong
..
So believe me when i say. i lived it the horrible way ..
*See ..read the words, cause a king dies today*
.
^^^ favorite lines

the whole piece was good but the last few lines were the ones that really made the piece... go0d job...pz~!~

^mmhmm ..
..show youselves :mad:

this was very well written...you have got very good imagery in this peice and the vocab in this was very good....some parts however did seem to be a bit forced......your structure made this peice nice and clear to read......and I have to say that the story line was like really dope.....very good peice,keep at it :2thumb: