beat diz nigga

Wait, hold on, is this sum kinda trick
Keep actin gangsta and no doubt u'll get killed .d*ick
My minds sharp, u keep yours butter-knife blunt
Ur bi*tch now calls me rambo cos I bruised her c*unt
If every1 wants 2 gang up on MC'n den bring it
But don't cum near me on da streets or ur life is finished
Im a milk bottle b*itch, I don't even have a tan
Dem hardcore lyrics u talked bout r as real as peter pan
And when he goes 2 never-neverland hope he takes u wit em
Dat alien line was a 1/4 bar, dat means u got no rhythm
NOW who myrked who? I myrked YOU
your tha 5th MC this week dat i've gone through!!!

Oh, its mr. no-flow the 1 I merked B4
The stupid idiot FINKs a lot but still walks into doors
I see right though your s**t, is that a trait you inherit?
If your dads a shemale, you must have Trans-parents(transparence)
U think ur King round here but the Ace is the 1
U cudnt put down heavy s**t if u crapped a tonne
Now get your knickers in a twist, or get into a fit of rage
If u wrote a book on yourself, Ud've sed evrythin by the 2nd page
If I smacked u, ud go down like a log
Your girs O.K, but yer Ma looks like a fu**in warthog
U $$$$ around I'll pull up side ya girls gaff in a Benz
And s**t the doggy out the window 2 stop you battlin' again

Come on y’all now, let’s be real
Some jokers got a rough time keepin’ it concealed
I wonder what it mean, it’s probably self-esteem
Cats think it can’t happen until the gats start clappin’
They comin’ down the wire spittin’ fire like a dragon
’cause while the goods glisten, certain eyes take position
To observe your trick, and then catch that ass slippin’
Like, come on now, what you expect?
Got a month’s paycheck danglin’ off your neck
And while you cristal sippin’, they rubbin’ up they mittens
With heat in mint condition to start the getti-gettin’
They clique starts creepin’ like sandinistin guerrillas
You screamin’ playa haters, these niggas is playa killers
Mr. fash-ion, that style never last long
The harder you flash, the harder you get flashed on
There’s hunger in the street that is hard to defeat
Many steal for sport, but more steal to eat
Cat’s heavy at the weigh-in, and he’s playin’ for keeps
Don’t sleep, they’ll roll up in your passengers seat
There is universal law, whether rich or poor
Some say life’s a game, to more, life is war
So put them egos to the side and get off them head-trips
’fore some cats pull out them heaters and make you head-less

Why not try something different man. Write something with some good story telling, somehting that appeals to you, then I think you would do it some justice. Right now, I have seen way to many of these same types of verses. They are played out and boring as heck no matter how much you put into them. I challange you to drop soemthing deep complex and fresh in concept. I think you would do much better on that.

i will try man and i'll do my best to made it but u kno wat dey say : u cant made from the 1st time.....u might fall....but....keep going.....cuz at the end...u will....breack the wall ....and dats whats i try to do...and i wish to say feedback on this 2 links:
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=276687
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=277057