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The 10 Commandments
The 10 Commandments
Everybody listen.
I’m gonna recite you an account, bout this companion I had.
He was auspicious in everything but he went mad
Good business, family, money, cars all things a man cud wish for
But dough, drugs, bitches longed him to make more
This song is dedicated to him and all you m. fuckers out der
Who thinks you can be smethin even if you obliterate your prayer
The gospel truth is; always say your prayer
Cause if u don’t, you get fucked up with this world
It is then all the wickedness uncurl
And you ejaculate out all your sins--AGAINST THE 10 COMMANDMENTS.
(the following verses are written from tha other person's point of view)
I AM THE LORD THY GOD
The first commandment ever given to man; the first commandment that I ever broke
I still can’t conceive it: I strayed it after havin some coke
Superstition, spiritualism, horoscope, fortune telling’
Wanted to contact tha dead; neva worked--- still tryin’, cryin’
Gave up ma religion for the sake of wealth; didn’t care bout ma soul’s health
But regret it now after hustling innocent deer skin
What I wanted to do was always win
And ended up commitin’ all tha sins
Sins that made me what I am sins that made me a livin satan
Sins that made me go against---THE 10 COMMANDMENTS.
But here’s smethin that I’m privileged to proclaim aloud
I have kept tha 2nd, 3rd, and 4th commandments- nd im proud
Anyhow it doesn’t cover up all ma other sin
So let me prolong ma shameless confession.
THOU SHALL NOT KILL.
Man when I feature this; various stories come to ma mind
Makes me compute all tha heads I have popped; combined
Me dpredict when you can get napped; So gotta keep ma seats strapped
Should keep ma ass alive; ma shorty’s and protect ma turf too
So you cant criticise me for all da junk I get into
Someone mess with me mess with ma whole crew
Hes gonna be transformed into a bloody stew
THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.
Yo man! I have been excecutin this since I was thirteen
I maltreated a butterfly who was only fifteen
But right now I remorse it entirely
I was into pornography since the era I was born
So much into it that I have a business of ma own
Homosexuality and masturbation- I have tried that 2
I have tried everything until I had nothing to do.
THOU SHALT NOT STEAL.
That’s like inducing me to tumble ma day job
Rob from Govt. and G’s not tha day-to-day mob
Steal from tha rich to feed tha poor
That’s how I play; just aspire ma game endure
Broke tha next one by executin a false testament
Had to do it: save ma ass from imprisonment
Slept with ma foes bitch; that’s how I broke tha 10th commandment
Which is not worthy for this guiltiness filled confinement
Tha conclusion that I am comin to
Is give your sins a lil shampoo
Go to a priest and concede your sins
God will bestow you another opening
When your new life begins.
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need sme feedbcks people. so plz keep it cmin.
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yo man...i liked what you were trying to do with this piece....but I dont see any wordplay, multis inners or anything really hittin here. The flow was okay, but there is definitely a lot of room for elevation. keep tryin. You've got the concepts which in my opinion is the hardest part. Do me a favor and leave some feed in my open mic post. thanks. one.
5/10
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thnx bruv 4 tha feednack. appreciate it. did wht u said.
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uppin ppl need loads of feedback
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yeah this was a nice piece.............great topic.....good wordplay and structure. juss need to elevate a lil bit.....overall it was dope. 9/10 pz.
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yo this peice was fuckin ill yo in every aspect of rap i read through and cant find nuttin wrong i especilly liked the topic real original the format was also nice stay up
leave feed on my om question
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uppin ppl. need more feedbck. sfe for tha comments.
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uppin ppl. need sme feedbck on this piece.
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the idea is overused IMO, people try writing ot this matter than see it as creative, yet it happend allot ..
on the piece itself.. your vocab was poor, flow was on point sometimes, i didnt really feel the story you tryed to share with us, nothing really stood out` elevate a little in writing & keep trying.
