To Toaster...

This isnt a personal attack on anyone, this really isnt my style at all...but its my first post...I promise i will become better.


Imma spark plug
designed like a antidepressant drug
ill sweep you and your wack rhymes under a rug
cause imma master
ill tear you down worse then the 9-11 disaster
have you blowin me like im some kind of church pastor
mouth is a rhyme spittin' blaster
coming out faster and faster
stickin to you like fresh wet plasta
its over
youre more irrelevent then delaware...dover
grover...your blue and gay
your boy needs to send you a bouquet
cabaret...my words blow you up like JFK
Whoa...There goes Jackie O
Rhymes sicker then Edger Allen Poe
youre a loser like ross perot
from head to toe like vincent van gogh
Ok...no its your turn to go...
sorry if i stole the show

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=268538

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=268574

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DonOwnsYou

Youre trying to hard to act like a thug
but ill give ya knees burns from the F rug
Imma spark plug
designed like a antidepressant drug
ill sweep you and your wack rhymes under a rug
cause imma master
ill tear you down worse then the 9-11 disaster
have you blowin me like im some kind of church pastor
mouth is a rhyme spittin' blaster
coming out faster and faster
stickin to you like fresh wet plasta
its over
youre more irrelevent then delaware...dover
grover...your blue and gay
your boy needs to send you a bouquet
cabaret...my words blow you up like JFK
Whoa...There goes Jackie O
Rhymes sicker then Edger Allen Poe
youre a loser like ross perot
from head to toe like vincent van gogh
Ok...no its your turn to go...
sorry if i stole the show

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wasnt feelin it....wasnt deep enough.but keep on spittin. holla! :coolio:

Yea ya trid but don't diss in OM or it'll get banned, it was aight but up ya vocab and try harder on the structure next time.....all in all it was aight and next time try and rhyme something that will interest the reader more......Keep at it though
Yeah, can ya also leave some comments on this OM:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=268538

you have potential alot of it and you are no rookie i see this but you do need complexity emmotion and punches. all these come when the interest in them takes over. i dont dislike this it is a very good start now rewrite it and see what you can make better im sure this will come out fire if you do that. stay up and hit me up for collab

Quote:

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Originally Posted by noncentz

you have potential alot of it and you are no rookie i see this but you do need complexity emmotion and punches. all these come when the interest in them takes over. i dont dislike this it is a very good start now rewrite it and see what you can make better im sure this will come out fire if you do that. stay up and hit me up for collab

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TY, but i am actually a rookie.

i am learning on the run and any advice will be well taken and used.

Don

This wasnt as gd as otha drop i replied to. I still liked it wrdplay stayed gds nad constant thru it. U show bare potential and alot of skill. well dun bro keep it up.

peace :D

alrite drop
flow wsnt brilliant, and it got a bit hard to follow
structure was gd tho
rhymin was tooo simple

elevate ur rhymin and flow
u hav got potential, and youll meet it by elevatin